Post # 1
Yes, due to reception size I can’t invite everyone to dinner. We decided on the reception size because we wanted a small, intimate wedding. However, there are a few guest…about ten that I would love to invite….after dinner. (I have 150 guests).
What is the best way to invite them, without making them feel bad?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale
You could easily say: Please join us for Cocktails and Dancing.
But honestly, I don’t know if it’s ever polite to invite someone to a party when they have obviously missed half the party.
If you were going to another location- I’d say you could invite them to an after party.
Post # 4
Sorry, i agree with peep. It would be pretty obvious that there had already been a ton of partying to which these guests were not invited… and since there is such a small number of them, I think they would be particularly hurt to see that just the few of them weren’t considered good enough. I agree that you should find another location – or better yet, since it’s such a small number, find another way to squeeze the budget to pay for their meal. If it was me, i would feel like it would be a slap in the face to be in the unlucky 10. Good luck!
Post # 5
I’m sorry to say, but your guests are going to feel like B-listers regardless of how you do the inviting.
I was invited to a wedding where I was not invited to the reception, but to a “Dance party” following the reception that was starting around 7 at night. The wedding was at 2pm.
Seriously… it left the worst taste in my mouth. I went to the wedding & the only reason I had considered the after party was because a bunch of my friends were going. I got there at 7 and they were still chowing down… so I left (along with 15 other after party guests). The bride got pissed at all of us & she, to this day, hasn’t spoken to me. I’m happy I didn’t bring my gift in & I still use her pyrex set.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I agree with the previous posters. There really isn’t a way to do it without offending anyone. They will definitely know that they weren’t included on the “real” list of guests invited to the whole thing.
Post # 7
Ditto Peeptoe — you don’t. It’s just not polite, however you say it. You either have room for them or you don’t, and they’re either part of your small, intimate guest list or they’re not. I’d be humiliated to arrive at a reception where everyone was seated and had just finished a meal in which I wasn’t invited to partake. And were you not planning to invite them to the ceremony, either?
Post # 8
I agree with the others. Don’t do it. People understand not being invited to the wedding, but to be invited to a secondary party (or conversely, to not be invited to dinner but invited to church) really leaves a bad taste in the guests mouth (and is remembered long after).
Even though I understand your desire for those ten people to be there, and your intentions are good, do not do it.
If I were you, I’d speak with your venue and ask if there was any way at all possible they could squeeze in another ten people… they might surprise you!
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception
I agree with the other posters–I don’t think I’d do this, if I were you. If I were only invited for the last third of the wedding (if you count the ceremony, dinner, then the dancing part), I think I would feel pretty insulted and would probably not go.
Post # 10
Gotta agree with the above posters… there really is no tactful way to invite guests to come dancing but not to dinner.
Post # 11
Ditto don’t do it! It’ll backfire
Post # 12
Here is the thing…my venue only seats 150. There is literally no room for them to sit besided the adjacent room. Then they will really feel like they were on the “B list”. Also, they are ALL single people…not married nor in a relationship…and must I add…my fiances college buddies….does this make a difference?
Post # 15
There isn’t any polite way to do that. Scale back the dinner menu and find a larger venue that allows you everyone in the same room. so that you can invite everyone and don’t invite any extras for the dance-only portion. They will know they are B-listers who weren’t “important enough” to join in the rest of the festivities. People do feel less special when they have to sit in a different room as well.
Post # 16
No matter what the size of the location is you can’t invite them half-way through the event. They won’t understand that they couldn’t fit in 10 more people. And sitting in another room is just as bad.
How many people have you already invited? Not all your guests will show. You can expect about 10-15% won’t come.