Post # 1
My family owns a business and as it is a family business we are inviting the office to the wedding. We are inviting 9 employees + SO’s, so the count comes close to 16 people. The issue is that I do not feel comfortable accepting gifts from our employees. Our pay is competitive and fair, but I know many people are struggling in today’s economy and I think I wouldn’t feel good (guilty) about receiving their gift. To me, it is a gift enough that they are able to attend the wedding. How do you suggest I address this topic with our staff?
Post # 3
I would put a note to the employees with the invitation that gifts are not necessary and their attendance is a gift in itself.
But I would expect that you will still receive gifts and if/when you do. Just receive it gratefully and let it go!
Post # 4
I voted “let it go”. These people know better than you what they can and can’t afford. Let them decide if they want to give you a gift.
If you’re registering, make sure to include some lower cost items so the people on tighter budgets can still get you something you want.
Post # 5
I’d probably let it go. If you put a note in their invite and they show up empty-handed only to see a big pile of gifts and a full card box, they’re going to feel like assholes.
Post # 6
I just want to say that it is really refreshing to see someone who is concerned about others financial situations and believes their attendace is gift enough, you see too may posts to the contrairy on here. I know that there are many people who feel the same way you do, it’s just not posted on here often. I agree with Mrs. D To Be, everyone knows their situation the best, and giving them lots of options is helpful.
Post # 7
While I think it’s great you don’t want to pressure people into getting gifts, I voted that you just let it go. I wouldn’t send out an email or put anything on the invite since it’s typically considered against etiquette to make any mention of gifts. If they ask, you can tell them you don’t need anything and that their presence is enough. As PPs have said, just make sure you have some lower priced things on your registry. People know what they can and can’t afford.
Post # 8
I voted “other” I would try to let each person know that their presence is really truly gift enough and they do not need to bring a gift. But say it once and move on and if they bring a gift then be grateful and don’t be guilty. If you harp on it too much you may insult them by making them feel like you don’t think they could afford it or would want to get your a gift (which isn’t what you’re trying to say, I know). So give them an out but let them do what they want.
Post # 9
I don’t really see that you can dictate this. Most guests want to give a gift when they go to a wedding and I’m sure your employees are very appreciative of being included in this special day. I would not say anything. If you want maybe there can be a word of mouth spread throughout the office that the couple is requesting no gifts, but I wouldn’t spread it that the couple is requesting no gifts JUST from employees. I think that would be offensive, actually because that could definitely be misconstrued. I think it is wonderful that you are thinking about what your employees can and can’t afford, but I don’t think they would break the bank over a wedding gift. If you are registering you can do your part by ensuring that you have a wide range of price points to choose from.
Post # 10
Thank you everyone so much for your input, you are really helping me see things that my thoughtful self hadn’t even thought of. Thank you!!!
Post # 11
Not totally knowing what your relationship is like with your staff, I’d vote for the talk to them one on one. Personally, I’d make a joke about it like, “No bribing the boss with gifts will be tolerated, please, please please don’t bring one.”
That said… I’d still bring at least something, if I was in that position. Even at my job where I worked at a bagel shop.
Post # 12
@iarebridezilla: << This!
If they want to give you a gift, let them. If not, they oh well. Some people think its rude not to give atleast alittle something. Everyones personal money issues (if they even have any) isnt anyones buiness anyways, yea the economy still kinda sucks, but that doesnt mean everyone is struggling. They know their limits to what they can and cant spend.
Sorry that might sound snarky, but my Fiance and I went to a wedding a while back and we gave the couple $100 (cause they asked for cash). We saw them a few weeks later, and they said they were suprised that we gave them so much, and figured we couldnt afford a gift…UMMM Your Welcome??
Post # 13
If you’re inviting guests to a wedding, they will most likely want to gift you, I voted let them do it if they want.
If you really don’t feel comfortable with them purchasing you a gift, you don’t have to bring it up formally, because they might not even have thought about getting a wedding gift. If they ask you where you are registered, or what you may want as a wedding gift just tell them that you appreciate their attendance and you don’t need anything from them!
If they insist, point them towards your wedding registry (if you have one) and make sure you have gifts in all price ranges (so starting anywhere from $10 and up).
Here’s a post that helps you understand how much to put on your registry (if you’re using one) http://weddingrepublic.com/blog/how-much-to-put-on-your-wedding-registry/
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
I would put a note, but say something like “In lieu of a wedding gift…” and then ask that they donate time or money to a cause you find worthy. This way, if they really can’t swing it, they don’t have to and you’d never know.
Post # 15
Thanks again everyone for their input, I really appreciated the help in navigating a sensitive topic.