- 7 years ago
Hi All, I’m getting married in June, and my brother is getting married in september. I’m a bridesmaid in his wedding and his fiance is a bridesmaid in mine. His fiance’s maid of honor has been emailing the bridesmaids over the past few months about her shower. I initially told her since her shower is TWO WEEKS before my wedding, that I’m not very available financially or physically to help but I’ll do what i can. She writes back that she totally understands but we all owe $100 toward the shower. I was almost angry considering i’m paying for most of my wedding myself and I just told her that I was pretty broke and couldn’t help but I did the right thing and sent her a check (even though when my bridesmaids asked my FSIL to chip in for my shower, she refused).
So since I sent the check, I’ve probably emailed her Maid of Honor now 3-4 times. i’ve been trying to ask questions about the shower (we’re going in on a joint gift, so do I bring my own gift too? what kind of games are we playing–can I help on the day of?) I messaged her on facebook last week, asking if she got any of my emails. She responded saying “oh they probably went in my junk folder, I’ll look at them tomorrow and write you back” Of course, I never got an email from her. I’m skeptical as to if she’s lying, since in past emails, we’ve all written her emails and she responded so why would my emails be going in her junk folder now, when they weren’t before?
So I wrote her again on facebook a few days ago and said how since this seems to be the best way to get a hold of her, I’ll write her on here. Then I said everything to her that I was saying in the emails. Since then, she has posted multiple status’s on facebook, meaning she’s obviously been on, but still hasn’t responded to me!!
I feel like this is extremely rude and I’m getting angry! She cashed my $100 check immediately, and now it seems like since she got money from me, she doesn’t even want to be bothered anymore. As I said, her shower is 2 WEEKS before my wedding so I’m already pretty stressed right now and extremely busy and I still am making time to try to help and I’m being blatantly ignored! I feel I have somewhat of a right to know where my money is going, and since I’m supposed to be a “host” in this shower too, I should have a right to know some more details!
Does anyone have any advice on how I proceed with this? Part of me wants to message her again and be like “what’s your problem?!” Part of me wants to text my brother and tell him what’s going on. Part of me wants to email the other bridesmaids and ask them if they’re being ignored like I am. My mom is telling me to let it go, but I just can’t see myself showing up to the shower and being nice to her when she doesn’t even have the decency to respond to emails/messages.
Sorry, I know I sound like an angry, crazy person right now. To be honest, I’m more upset about the rudeness of the whole situation… it’s not even about what I’m saying in the emails anymore. It’s more about the fact that i’m being ignored which is making me feel totally disrespected. I contributed financially to this shower in the same way all the other bridesmaids did (including the MOH), and now I feel like i’m going to show up and be treated as if i’m just another guest there…when i’m supposed to be one of the hosts!
Thanks in advance and sorry for my rant!