Post # 17
@prahajess: + 1
I also don’t want to rain on your wedding parade but it does seem like you are trying to organise a huge event single-handedly and, if you dom’t like being the centre of attention, this is going to be difficult to achieve with 200 guests looking on!
If you do decide to go with a surprise wedding then I’d be very wary of telling anyone. Because secrets always get out!
It wil also be easier to achieve if you are the sort of people who regularly host or go to very large parties which are well attended and popular. Because you do take the risk of people simply not thinking that the party you are throwing under the guise of being a wedding isn’t something they’ll prioritise. Which means you may not get the people there who mean most to you.
I honestly think that a surprise wedding would be great to organise but I’d not want to do this for 200 people!
Post # 18
I don’t know if I’d call a 200-person event an engagement party… think if I got invited to that I wouldn’t give the same gift at an e-party as I would of at a wedding – I’d be ticked off because I’d feel like now, I didn’t give enough mosey as a gift (since it’s just an engagement party) and I look like a scrooge.
This sounds like a pretty big wedding to me, surprise or not.
Why not just elope and then have a big elopment party?
This way you can save up, you don’t have to rush, you can skip the engagment party (because they really aren’t required), and you’ve essentially accomplished everythig you wanted – low-key wedding, big party.
Post # 19
@Shonzilla: My feelings are, if you and your Fiance hate attention, why are you planning a wedding? And a surprise wedding at that – which will potentially be quite embarrassing / awkward for you and your guests. Both during the day and for many months afterwards? Seems like a sure-fire way to draw attention to yourselves.
Why not be honest with everyone – just elope (and tell people that’s what you’re doing), and have a “reception party” afterwards. And just invite the people you actually like. 10K should more than cover that, plus you’d have help planning it. And there’d be less drama because it’s not a “wedding”.
Post # 20
Very Mark Zuckerberg! I love the idea but wouldn’t be able to do it just because my mother would be extremely offended and pissed at me forever. But I hope yours goes well! 🙂
Post # 21
I’m having a hard time with the concept of a surprise wedding. Why do you want to surprise the guests? If it’s to keep fuss to a minimum, there are plenty of other ways to do that: have a small bridal party or no bridal party at all, plan a low-key/casual wedding instead of a formal do, and have a charity day as your hen/buck instead of a drinky drinky party (everyone goes together to volunteer on a neighborhood cleanup or whatever). A surprise wedding just seems like a recipe for disaster as people will no-show, bring extra guests, turn up late, leave early, etc; they won’t follow normal wedding protocol since they don’t know it’s a wedding, but you’re paying for it all as if it’s a normal wedding. So you have the worst of both worlds.
Try to figure out exactly what you wish to accomplish here.
Post # 22
Thanks so much for the replies everyone. Fiance seems to think I know what I’m doing for some reason so asks me crazy questions and pulled the”it’s your day” which I reminded him that it’s his too. Think hes been speaking to the other guys that are getting married and he forgo that he actually can input too And those poor guys have no say.
Attention wise, it’s more the fact we didn’t want to have it a heap of times at different events like a hen/buck party, engagement abd a wedding so though do a surprise. Also Fiance is worried about what his friends will do to him on his bucks. his friends are typical men, booze and girls galore. I’m not fussed to have a hens party but yes it’s becoming harder to pull of that it might just be easier to just have our wedding instead and skip the whole engagement.
Am I wrong in saying there is a line with who to invite, it’s not a big birthday so I find it odd to invite his basketball team, honestly. we have known them for years but I think this is different and we need to keep numbers down as it is. I will get in trouble if I don’t invite my cousins but frankly I don’t really want to as I don’t see them that often, they are lovley tho aNd there’s about 7 but giving that up just for his parents friends who we know and see often seems rude too.
I wanted to elope but family would not be happy. I’m the only girl and Fiance is the favorite child. Plus part of me wants to share the excitement but I just don’t want a wishy washy white wedding. I like this place bevaluate it’s funky and close to him so I hope he likes it too.
The last pain is that I would have it end of next year but my mums husband is going over to Canada for his daughters wedding and probably staying so then what. Is that hos problem
and he has to cut it short. Nov seems like the only time we could do it and have a honeymoon due to my uni but it seems the timing is all off.
Post # 22
Beezooka : did you ever end up doing this surprise wedding?
Post # 23
Beezooka : omg 3 years ago exciting!!! I want to hear it all