(Closed) How do I respond?

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
4102 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I would just let her know that unfortunately due to venue size, you only have enough seating for her and her husband, but that they’re welcome to bring their child to the ceremony.

Post # 3
2943 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Seems there may have been some confusion, with her thinking that because you said her kids could come to the ceremony, they are also invited to the dinner. I’d politely let her know that you were not expecting her kids at the dinner and apologize if there was any confusion when she asked about bringing them to the ceremony. Let her know that you are keeping a pretty strict guest count and unfortunately cannot accommodate the kids.

Will there be other kids attending the dinner/reception? If not, you can also let her know that the reception is adult-only and there will be no kids menu. 

Post # 4
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Do you know how old her kids are and how old the kids you are invitnig are? 

Something like “due to our venues guest limits we cannot host children under XXX”? 

I have no idea, I am not terriblely “ettiquet” knowledgable lol that is the best I could come up with. That is a tough situation. 

Post # 5
2322 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

That’s tricky, I wonder if she actually forgot that you said her kids could only come to the church ceremony and not the reception. Was she planning on leaving the ceremony to take them home and then come back for the reception? I guess that doesn’t matter, I’m just curious as to why she wanted to bring the kids at all. 

I would go with what PP said, let her know that unfortunately you can’t host the children due to being at capacity (assuming there won’t be a bunch of extra seats?).

Post # 6
4802 posts
Honey bee

I would suck it up and have her kids come. The additional expense would be much less than the awkwardness of rolling back the invitation (whether it was a miscommunication on her or your part). 

Post # 7
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

It sounds like she thought you were okay with her kids going to the entire wedding, including reception. It makes it extra tricky since she’s your boss.

If you absolutely can’t/don’t want her kids there, just be honest. “I’m sorry, I thought your kids were only coming to the ceremony. I am only having children at the reception that I see regularly.”

I feel like it’s a bit odd to allow kids to the ceremony, but then make the parents take them back home for the reception. I understand she asked for the ceremony only which is what you agreed to, but I still think it’s an odd situation and if I were in your shoes, because I had already agreed to the ceremony, I’d just agree to the reception as well. But you have to decide, obviously, if it’s important enough to you to not have your boss’ kids at your reception. Personally I would avoid the awkwardness (because it’s my boss, and also because I think kids going to the ceremony should also be invited to the reception), and just let her bring the kids, but if you really can’t or really don’t want to, then you just have to be honest with her.

Post # 8
7995 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

just be honest.  you agreed to let her kids come to the ceremony but they aren’t really invited.

Post # 9
590 posts
Busy bee

Awkward. But I would just text back and say, “I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication but due to limited space the only children invited are immediate family. They are still welcome to attend the ceremony.”

Although I’m really unclear why they would want to bring their kids to just the ceremony. Maybe she misspoke when she first asked.

Post # 10
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think it would be one thing if you were having a child-free wedding but you’re not. I think it will create unnecessary drama and akwardness if you say no now and then your boss shows up and sees all these other kids. Honestly, the line you are drawing (kids you see on a regular basis) is weird and subjective as opposed to a clear line such as immediate family children. For the sake of your relationship with your boss, I’d just let her bring them.

Post # 11
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Shouldn’t everyone that is invited to the ceremony be invited to the reception?  

Post # 12
6722 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
zl27 :  +1. The potential awkwardness of this for work outweighs anything else imo. I’d just let them come. Then again I wouldn’t have even invited my boss so I separate my work life that way. But perhaps if you’re close like family close then maybe take the advice of those who gave you wording options. 

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