(Closed) How do I respond to a critical sister?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not nice. I’d tell her to bend over and start kissing my ass…one side to the other and she better take her time because I have a lot of ass to cover!

Post # 4
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Tell her that you like the way you look and you’re not interested in losing weight. You want to look like “you” at your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Calling someone out in a really honest way is always the best way to catch them off guard and shut them up.  If it were me, I would say,

“Why are you saying these things to me? I’m in my wedding dress. I want to look beautiful, and you’re trying to make me feel bad about myself. Why would you do that?”

She’ll probably respond with something like, “I’m just telling you the truth.”

To which you can reply, “No, you’re not. You’re trying to make me feel bad. You’re saying hurtful things to me. Please stop.”

She might come back again, but don’t back down with the seriously sincere honesty of how she’s makin gyou feel. bullies can’t deal with that. They’re used to confrontation. If you respond like this, she’ll likely go sit in the corner like a wounded puppy.

Post # 6
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“Back the F off, woman!!”

Is the response she would get from me!  If you’re happy with the way you are its got nothing to do with her and just cos she has lost weight doesnt mean anything other than she was unhappy with how she looked!

Post # 8
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I think also shutting her down directly is a good strategy.

Her: Some stupid comment

You: My physical appearance is not up for discussion.  Do not make any comments about it, or you will have to leave.  (Said very calmly).

Just be very no nonsense, and if she doesn’t comply, follow through and ask her to leave.

Post # 9
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her that unless you invite her to make comments about your body, it is an off-limits topic for you.

Post # 10
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know EXACTLY how you feel.I have gained some weight ( about 30 or so lbs) because of my office job. Last time I saw my sister ( who is anurse and see’s everything in nursing eyes) she said to me randomly, ” Are you guys planning to have babies soon? Because you will need to lose atleast 30 pounds before or you will get gestational diabetes.”

Um, EXCUSE ME?????????????????

I said her her,

#1- We are not planning to have babies for a while

#2 – I am not worried about my weight and SO likes me just the way I am, so please don’t comment on my weight. I know I have gained some and I plan to work on being more active, but there isn’t anything I can do about it right now at this very moment.

I am not sure how your sister is, but mine reacts to explainations well. If I show her I have acknowledged the issue she has brought up and given her a clear and understandable explanation with a hint of being offended by her, she will back off. She gets it from my Mom who is also a nurse and will just say to you outright, “ You look so fat!”. Ah, the joys of family.

Post # 11
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

See, I’m mean and I’d just tell her to eff off or something worse.

Like the time I reached for the bread basket and she says “6 points!”

Really? You should have been like, “Oh, how sad for you to have to watch me enjoy this delicious, amazing bread.” And then rub it in her face how good it is. 

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am also unfailing rude.

“Fuck off, don’t put your insecurity and body image Issues on me while I’m in my wedding dress.  Are you jealous? Maybe you should leave until you can be a positive part of this fitting.”

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

what a B!  I’d just snap back and tell her to keep her nasty comments to herself! Who died and made her your Jenny Craig coach?!

Post # 14
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would tell her to leave. That is so hurtful.

Post # 15
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

who has the heart to say that to anyone let alone their SISTER? I would just put her in her place.

Post # 16
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow, bitchy.

 

I like the suggestions Tangled made.  If she keeps it up, you can just tell her things along the lines of “worry about your own body” or “if I want your input, I’ll ask for it.”

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