Post # 1
To refresh-DH have been married for 15 yrs and have 7 kids. I didn’t get a wedding when we legally married because my mom was sick and would not live to see the big wedding we had planned. We did a JoP thing and promised to have a beautiful day at some significant anniversary (like 15 yrs so we’re doing it YAY!).
Our save the dates went out and people love them. I put our email address on the back so people could check in if they had any questions. Well-I am getting lots of questions! Everyone wants to know “what would you guys like as a gift?” So far, I’ve said something like “Your presence is gift enough! We just want to celebrate our love, marriage, and family with the people we love.” Their reply is mostly “but it’s an anniversary too so let us get you something!”
Guys, we have had our home set up for 15 years. There is nothing I could possibly need or want! But I don’t want to seem ungrateful at their graciousness and I think continuing to refuse after they point out the anniversary thing is kind of rude. Is it ok to respond that we would love for them to donate to the American Cancer Society in honor of my mom? And if they continue to ask for a tangible gift option what do I say? I am honestly stumped on this one. My aunt swears she is going to call our honeymoon location to set up something special for us as a gift-which is lovely-but it’s an all inclusive resort lol. I feel like a shit for having to ask this…
Post # 3
@shedayz:Maybe you can egister for some really nice stuff that people can go in on together? Like crystal?
And you’ll probably get lots of photo frames.
AND definitely recommend donations to charity–that one is a good idea all around.
Maybe something like wine of the month club or chocolate or whatever–something fun, that keeps on happening, but it’s edible, so it doesn’t use up space in your home. Maybe?
Registering is difficult no matter what if you have a personality like yours or mine. But the guests LOVE it.
Post # 4
well, we have 3 full sets of crystal (formal, informal and party) and a full 12 piece china and silver set. Like I said-15 years of marriage LOL. But good point about the picture frames…jeebus with 7 kids I have so many picture frames. My girlfriend just texted me like 5 mins ago and said “since you’re being a shit and won’t tell me what to get you I am going to pick out something girly and frou frou with a monogram just to screw with you!” LOL.
I think it is totally against the rules to register for a vow renewal. >sigh< Can I request college funds for the 2 attending this fall? haha…
Post # 5
@shedayz: I think it’s a great idea to donate to the ACS in honor of your mother.
I’d also donate to college funds, I don’t see why not!
Post # 6
I know there are sites that allow you to register for honeymoon gifts–just don’t remember the names. I also heard of places that let you register for stocks. I would do a quick google search for alternative wedding registries and see what comes up. Oh one thing poeple will do is register at Bed, Bath Beyond and return them for the cash (other places will give you gift card)
Post # 7
I LOVE the idea of donating to the American Cancer Society… but I should warn you. If I were a guest attending and you had requested donations to the ACS, I would think you were so awesome that I would still want to get you a little gift on the side!
I do think it’s a great idea to give added options at your honeymoon resort (your aunt is awesome!). What about suggestions for “date nights” once you get back from your honeymoon. Gift cards for restaurants, movies, B&Bs. Or maybe you can set up a little “family trip” after your honeymoon and before 2 of your children go to college, and people could contribute towards that?
Post # 8
@Miss Smurf:Date nights! Yes, ask for that when they ask you for ideas.
Post # 9
FI’s aunt was married a few years ago and they were in a similiar situation (though much, much older). They obviously didn’t register for anything so a lot of people just gave them restaurant gift cards or champagne. We went in on a bottle of dom perignon with my IL’s which was VERY well received. I think asking for donations to ACS is great, though.
ETA: Fiance and I have lived together for about 6 years so like you, we have everything that we need but we opted to register for upgrades. It’s been a few years since we last moved and bought new things so there definitely were things that we could use.
Post # 10
I think donations would be awesome.
I also read one time that for couples who have lived together for a long time before getting married, choosing a few things in your home you would like to “upgrade” would be a good idea. For instance, do you have a set of dishes that works but isn’t as nice as you would like? You could register for a new set of dishes and donate or sell your old ones…
Post # 11
ok, my standard request is going to be for donations to the ACS. After that, if they want to get us something they can chose at will lol.
Post # 12
I too love the idea of the ACS donation. If they insist, you could also say ‘a gift card to your favorite store’ or ‘a gift card to your favorite restaurant, so we can go on a date’. I normally wouldn’t ask for cash or a gift card, but in your instance, I think it would be OK.
Post # 13
I think the ACS donation idea is great! And a wonderful way to honor your mother. Like some PP said, I think guests will still want to give a gift – so a honeymoon registry (even if it’s all-inclusive, use the cash you save for those college kids!) or a college fund are both great ideas).
Post # 14
I think the ACS is great but agree that guests may want to bring you something tangiable too. I like the idea of suggesting they get you a gift certificate for their favorite restaurant so you have a date night and hopefully discover a great new restaurant. I would also think about a bottle of wine if you are wine drinkers or some nice coffee if that is more your thing. Something that is consumable and you would not buy for yourself is always a nice treat. If your honeymoon is all inclusive, have you considered off ressort activities? I imagine you’ll be on a carribean island maybe you want to do a jeep tour or some sort of day adventure that can be reserved in advance through the hotel, give your guest a heads up before the ressort charges her for something you already paid for in your AI fee.
Post # 15
I like the donation idea! You could set up an account for a vacation fund. If you use myregistry.com you can set up a cash gift fund and title it anything you want.
Post # 16
I really like the ACS donation idea.
With 7 kids, I would ask for babysitting IOUs as gifts.