- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Okay, just a tiny bit of background: I’ve been deeply hurt by a close friend. Since my engagement, and since I asked her to be a bridesmaid, I’ve felt as if she wants nothing to do with me. Being a bridesmaid aside, just the fact that she’s my friend and has been acting this way, it hurts.
Now, I have been trying my hardest not to be a bridezilla, or along side that, a clingy, “doesn’t get the hint” kind of friend. So I’ve left my friend alone. I don’t try and call her every week anymore. I do try and call once in awhile, but I never get ahold of her. She told me facebook was the best way to reach her, so I sent her a nice facebook message about 2 months ago, saying we should go to dinner and catch up as I don’t know what’s going on in her life. She never replied. It hurts, is the bottom line. And the only thing wedding related I have EVER bugged her about since my engagement, was the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses.
All the dresses are ordered except for two. Another Bridesmaid or Best Man also has a crazy busy life, and couldn’t coordinate a time that would work until now. (The shop’s hours aren’t the best to deal with both our work schedules, so that made it harder). We are going tomorrow and then afterwards we will go to dinner. It felt rude not to invite the other Bridesmaid or Best Man. I know she’d said that Spring Break was the only time she could go, which tomorrow is the last day before Spring Break, so I felt like I’d be nice and invite her. When I couldn’t get ahold by phone, I texted her (Last week on Monday, so she had a week and a half’s notice). I said something like “Hey! I know you’ve been busy, but Bridesmaid or Best Man and I are going to try on and order her dress on Friday, March 22 and we might do dinner after. I wanted to invite you to come along if you’d like. Hope you’re doing well!” She replied this morning, and said something along the lines of “It’s been a crazy week and I knew I wouldn’t have time to go. I don’t think you understand how busy my life is right now. We’ll talk later.”
It’s hard to tell by the tone of the text message. I almost feel like she was annoyed that I’d invited her out. Again, hard to tell.
Now, there’s a part of me that is SO annoyed with her ‘busy’ life. Probably selfish, but honestly, if I weren’t getting married, I’d have given up on her. I have a busy life too. But I’m able to manage my time, such that I don’t totally block out the people who are important to me. This part of me wants to write back a sarcastic, catty response.
The other part of me, wants to stay true to who I’ve always been. A person who hates confrontation, and would never ever do anything to upset anyone. (Think pushover). I want to respond that I understand she’s super busy, but just thought I’d extend the invitation out anyway. In a nice way. And tell her to call me when she wants to go by the store.
I’m also extremely, genuinely concerned that taking a full day out of her time in the fall for my wedding, is asking too much and that she will end up leaving early, being late, or not showing up at all. But that’s another discussion.
ETA: No hurtful responses please. This has been really hard for me as she is the only friend I have left living in the city and it’s been difficult. My other Bridesmaid or Best Man is family, who I don’t see that often.