Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be planning my bachlorette but it seems like she’s really wanting me to plan it. she keeps asking what i want to do. do i want to go here, do i want to go there, do i want to do this, etc. I dont want to have to worry about planning any part of the bachlorette party! If i have to plan that too, then i honestly dont want one. im stressed enough as it is with the wedding coming up next month.
i’ve tried to tell her and my other bm that i dont care what we do because we’ll have fun no matter what we end up doing. i even told my Maid/Matron of Honor that if she does want to get a party bus, i had no problems chipping in on it to help cover the cost since it wouldn’t be a crazy amount anyway. i told them to let me know where i had to be and when i had to be there.
ive even tried tell her flat out in a serious way and in a light and almost jokingly way. i actually said that i was so stressed and worn out from planning the wedding that my brain just refused to do even more planning on top of it. im guessing she didn’t catch my drift.
she just keeps asking and asking me. i refuse to plan my bachlorette party. i know i may sound kind of like a bridezilla but i’ve got enough on my plate as it is! i live an hour and a half away from my girls so they havent really been around to see just exactly what all im doing for the wedding with all my diy projects. i did all the invitations myself, the bouquets, centerpieces, card box, guest book and probably a few others that i forgot to mention.
help! how do i get my point across to her without being a bridezilla?
Post # 3
It sounds like she just really wants you to have a party you like. Could you give her just a couple ideas, maybe then she would back off and take care of the details? Give her a couple suggestions for a restaurant or bars you want to go to…that might help her get started. I totally understand you not wanting to plan a whole other party on top of the wedding, though!
Post # 4
Hmm.. Well, answer all of her questions directly and she’ll stop asking you! It sounds like she just wants it to be perfect for you.
Post # 5
Oh gosh… is there another bm you can ask?
Or maybe, if this sounds like your thing, tell her you’d rather just do a simple at home party with a few bottles of wine and your BMs? Not really a full out on the town night?
Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor is just worried you won’t have a good time with what she plans, and doesn’t want your memory of your party years down the line to be all “oooh… that was awful…”.
Post # 6
Im sure she just is trying to plan a party that you will love and wants to plan what you will like 🙂 Just try telling her that while you appreciate her asking for suggestions and approval, you really want to be surprised by your bachelorette party and would prefer not to be involved with any of the planning other than the date.
Post # 7
My bm and moh asked the same thing. I just told them, “I”ll give you girls a list of my must invite and I want to be surprised, whatever we do its going to be a blast.” They laughed and tried to scare me saying they were going to take me strip club hopping lol.
Post # 8
It sounds like she is excited and wants to make sure its exactly what you want. Perhaps she will take care of the nitty-gritty logistics and just wants your input. In that case maybe do it by email so its at your leisure instead of having the phone ringing at random times or interupting girl time with questions you dont feel like answering?
Post # 9
If you would really rather not have a party than have to plan one and you can’t deal with any more questions, suggest that you just want a girls night in, you don’t want to go anywhere b/c you don’t want to have to come up with ideas or plans, chances are she won’t want to that, especially if she’s been so into this, and you can again let her know your up for whatever you just really really really dont want to make ANY decisions!!!
Post # 10
Thanks bees! What gets me is that she asked me if she could plan my bachlorette party months ago. at first she did have a party all planned out but a mutual friend of ours changed her wedding date to the day my Maid/Matron of Honor had planned to have the bachlorette party. my Maid/Matron of Honor is also in this other girls wedding so the date had to be changed. it was no big deal but now she completely thrown out all of her previous plans. i’ll try talking to her about it again. i just honestly feel like its really not my job to plan the bachlorette party. i’ve known this girl since freshman year of high school. she knows i’ll have fun no matter what we do. when she suggested getting a party bus and possibly going up to st. louis i was very encouraging about it since it was really the only idea she had given me for the party. i’m going to try and talk to my other Bridesmaid or Best Man about it too. maybe she’ll be able to help explain to my Maid/Matron of Honor.