How do I stop obsessing over getting engaged?

posted 9 months ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

I think when you have a timeline, then you can just sit back and enjoy the time in your gf status. My SO gave me a similar timeline, let’s wait and see what happens 🙂 I really don’t like my timeline though. The difference between you and me is that I only told him I was ready very recently

Post # 32
Member
26 posts
Newbee

The problem with the traditional proposal is it takes “power” away from the women. Sometimes this results in women feeling, helpless, unable to achieve their goals, stressed, obsessive and most importantly not in control of their own future.

I’m assuming you’re a traditionalist and are hoping for a romantic proposal from your man and a beautiful ring. If not have you considered just mutually agreeing to get married and become engaged that way? Buying engagement rings for each other and no waiting around? Proposing to him with an engagement gift?

Not everyone’s cup of tea I know, but I do feel like us women need to remember that we are in charge of our own futures!

Post # 33
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

aleycat65 :  I agree to some extent for sure. I am traditional in that regards but power was all mine at first. We moved in when I was ready (not when he wanted), he waited for me to become his gf (I wasn’t even ready for that for a while and I think that’s ok), then I said I wasn’t ready to get married for a while (personal reasons). Does it mean I took away his power? I am not sure if he felt this way about it. I have a feeling it confuses some men because this is not a common behaviour 

Post # 34
Member
9 posts
Newbee

I’m in the same situation. We’re both 25 and have been together for 5 years. I’ve definitely felt the same way. I really love my relationship and decided that it’s worth it to stay even if I don’t get the ring. Don’t give up if you love him! 

Post # 35
Member
673 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

Everyone here has given some good advice. I recommend staying off pinterest and the wedding sites and focusing on something else.  If that still doesn’t sit well with you, have another conversation with him and make a decision on if that timeline will actually work with you and your life goals.  I’m sure you two are great partners, but you want to make sure you aligned in life.

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