(Closed) How do I (tactfully, even HUMOROUSLY) draw the line on the jokes?

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Which approach will be most effective?
    Directly tell the offenders to knock it off : (18 votes)
    28 %
    Write a blog post about it and hope they take heart : (3 votes)
    5 %
    Delete inappropriate comments as they appear : (27 votes)
    42 %
    Come up with merciless and amazing comebacks! : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Just ignore them and they'll lose interest. Maybe. : (6 votes)
    9 %
    Other? : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    2651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I would just pull them aside before the next round  and say something like ” hey I know I joke alot about my pregnancy, but some jokes that have been said, specifically the vagina and sex jokes,  that seem to me to be ove the line. can we 86 them to keep the pregnant lady happy?

    Post # 4
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @iarebridezilla:  4 — Have some EPIC COMEBACKS at the ready that will both immediately point out the inappropriateness of the comment and teach them not to comment along those lines again, but in a funny way. Pros: EVERYTHING. Cons: I can’t think of any such comebacks.


    I don’t really think you’re going to be able to find an appropriate comeback to do this because, as you said, you joke around about many aspects of your pregnancy. Every person has a different line of what is acceptable and what’s not, and you may find where that line is for you even changes as you get further along – I’m 37 weeks along and while size comments and jokes didn’t phase me before, in the last week I’ve burst into tears after jokes/comments about my size made by my mom and Darling Husband. And usually I have a very sarcastic and healthy sense of humor. But there’s really no way people can know what comments bother you and are over the line and which ones you’re okay with, especially with the kind of jokes you’ve posted yourself. Which you pretty much seem to already know.


    I think the best option is to remove the offending comments from your FB and then to send the person a lighthearted message saying something like, “Hey I didn’t want to come off as all passive-aggressive deleting that last message/comment of yours without saying anything, but I’ve got family on here so let’s keep it PG and not discuss my vagina or sex life, k? Grandma/mom doesn’t want to read that…although I guess I should probably stop telling jokes about my cervix then, too. LOL” That way they get the point that those two topics are off limits, but it’s kind of poking fun/not taking yourself too seriously, and realizing that it may sound weird considering some of the jokes you’ve made yourself.


    Post # 6
    3357 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    When you delete a comment from your wall, a link comes up asking if you want to give the person feedback about the comment. that may be a good way

    Post # 8
    1547 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I vote number 4. though the only comeback i can think up is to say: “yeah! it will end up like your mom’s vajayjay” and that would be super rude… i think…


    D: sorry for not being of much help.

    Post # 9
    9686 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would delete the comments as they come up and not respond.  Just ignore it, they’ll get bored pretty soon.  Also, bring up other topics of discussion yourself other than pregnancy.  Hey, Reese Witherspoon just got arrested!!!   That should give you lots of joke material for a while to come, lol.  🙂

    Post # 10
    9686 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    In other words, distraction.

    Sorry for posting again, I get so tired of having to delete all the stupid “edit” spaces that show up now.

    Post # 11
    7219 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @iarebridezilla:  My friends and I joke a lot and in very inappropriate ways. I, too, would be pissed as hell if they made jokes about my post-birth vagina! But… at least in my group if I was making jokes about my cervix and/or anything else “private” or “gross”, then I would have zero leg to stand on with them if I tried to stop their jokes. For most young men pregnancy/cervix is exactly the same as sex/vagina. So I’d hear “YOU made X joke about your vag! All I did was go along with it!” To that end, if & when I do get pregnant, I will not be joking about it on Facebook, period. I just know my friends would take it way too far and I don’t want to give them the ‘in’.

    I would REALLY REALLY advise against “having a witty comeback”. If your friends are anything like mine, that will only egg them on. 

    ETA: I guess that isn’t helpful since you have already joked. In your case, I’d stop joking about my pregnancy and delete any offending comments without remark. If someone asks you about it, you can tell them it was bugging you/creeping out your older relatives. 


    Post # 12
    6825 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Honestly if you don’t want those kind of jokes, maybe you, yourself should stop the joking around especially the cervix comments.  People in general are going to think it is okay to say stuff like that when you yourself joke about your pregnancy. 

    Post # 13
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would think the lackluster fake smile you would give them instead of the the full-on guffaw of appreciation would be their tip-off that you don’t find a particular joke funny.

    Because you’ve joked about your cervix, they think making dirty jokes is ok, so just deleting them on facebook could lead to hurt feelings. You’d want to at least delete with a lighthearted PM at the same time, non-aggressively saying why you did. That won’t be funny but funny is optional. It will be honest and kind.

    Post # 16
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I find the whole hotdog down the hallway  thing to be something ” funny” that men joke about, but are insecure about amongst themselves. It’s annoying, and it is almost never funny. I would just respond with ” well, I think a hotdog is being a liiiitle bit optimistic for you”. 

    I am sure they will leave your lady bits alone so that they don’t have to be reminded that two can play that game!

    The topic ‘How do I (tactfully, even HUMOROUSLY) draw the line on the jokes?’ is closed to new replies.

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