(Closed) How Do I Tell Certain People No Plus Ones?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 17
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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@Dreamlover:  I think that’s a thoughtful consideration if you have unlimited space/budget but our venue seats 200 people. And that’s it. So there’s no way I would axe someone that means something to me so someone else can bring someone I don’t know. 

To the OP, just say as much as you wouldve loved to have everyone bring a guest, you can only accommodate x number of people and you’re at the maximum already.

Post # 18
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@RhubarbbPie I’m not sure what the original poster’s reason for not wanting plus ones is. If it is space, you are right about not leaving someone out you care about to make room for a stranger. In fact, I’m planning on a few people coming alone myself. I’ll still feel kind of bad for guests who have to come alone, but my response was mostly in reference to not allowing plus ones for other reasons like for the sake of pictures.

Post # 20
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Some people are out of control… I guess now that I’m planning I can’t imagine such behavior, but even before it is so incredibly rude. We haven’t sent our invitations out yet, but I’m going to have to use a lot of self control to handle that situation tactfully if it comes up. We are also only inviting long term relationship couples… if they still aren’t together now (wedding is in 5 months), then they will be just FINE to spend one evening apart in November. Sorry.

Post # 21
Hostess
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@KristenGotMarried:  that’s what we did! same wording  🙂

Post # 23
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’ve set up a website where everyone has to RSVP with their first & last names.  If their name isn’t in the database, they’re not coming.  We aren’t the type of people who care much about offending people, and our friends and family know & understand that about us.

Mine is through The Knot.

Post # 24
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@heatherlm84:  We did that too since we’re not doing reply cards. I still anticipate receiving phone calls & emails though :-/

Post # 25
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Last time I was invited to a wedding I guess I had assumed my fiance would be coming along, then I got the invite and it had the ” _ of 1″ which is at what point I realized that he was not invited. I think it caused a bit of an issue since he was offended and most couples were invited together. It was a bit awkward. I would recommend mentioning it to people before they get the invites. Just tell them you would love to have their spouse, but due to space or money or whatever you can’t have everyone and tell them you’d love if they could still come. I think it would help to have some warning.

Post # 27
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

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@heatherlm84:  Great idea, do you have a link to set up that RSVP website?

Post # 28
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@MrsBtoBe14:  http://www.theknot.com

You can sign up for a free wedding website and add all the info you need for your wedding.  I saves us getting bogged down with phone calls & emails from everyone asking the same questions.

 

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@sharkchomp:  So far we haven’t had any complaints.. How about you??

Post # 29
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@heatherlm84:  Nope! We haven’t had a TON of responses but our due date is May 1st so it’s awhile away… I’m pleased we decided to go with the website instead of reply cards. How has your response been?

Post # 30
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We are struggling with the same thing. I don’t want a ton of people at my wedding I do not know. I do not want to be introduced to all these people on my wedding day. That is no fun for me.  I don’t think people need plus ones if they are not in a serious relationship ( like if they are only dating for a few months). But if they don’t know anyone there really well I think you need to give them a plus one. I try to think of how I would feel if I was them.. I knew no one there. That is no fun. But by not giving everyone a plus one you have to accept that they may not want to come to your wedding. So you have to be ok with that.

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