(Closed) How do I tell FSIL I can't attend her wedding? =o(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
901 posts
Busy bee

This is not a difficult situation. You tell her the truth. That you’re in a new job and it is not possible for you to take the time off durig the week. End of story.

Post # 4
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You have a perfectly legitimate excuse.  If she wants people to come to a Wednesday wedding, she needs to actually communicate with her guests instead of having them find out in passing from a third party.  When invitations do finally go out, tell her the truth. 

Post # 5
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She is going to find a lot of people bowing out because of the day she chose. I been to Friday weddings which I made work, but the middle of the week is a bit much to ask of the guest unless it was a destination wedding or something and they were taking the week off to attend anyways.

Just tell her the truth.

Post # 8
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just apologize to her either on the phone, or face to face, and tell her the truth. Send a gift anyway. If she planned a Wednesday wedding on a day that many people (at least the ones with children) have a standing yearly commitment, she has to expect that a lot of people won’t show. That’s the tradeoff you get for the price savings you realize by having a wedding during the week.

It’s not like you’re skipping her Saturday evening wedding to go on vacation or something. Your reason is perfectly legitimate, and as long as you tell her everything you just told us, she should be fine with it if she is at all a reasonable person.

Post # 9
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, if you’re going to have a Wednesday night wedding on Halloween you have to expect that people might not be able to make it and give plenty of notice. I would just say the truth. Your schedule is made months in advance and I never occurred to you that it would be that day. And as Halloween is such a premium day off its impossible to get it at this point. 

Post # 10
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well — at this point, it’s all hearsay, right? 

I’d talk to her directly (or have your fiance do it) to confirm, and then do you absolute best to make it work. Is calling in sick an option as a last resort? 

Post # 11
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

can your husband give her a call and talk to her?  explain that you heard from your mil that the wedding is on wednesday (halloween) and that having the wedding on this day is going to make it difficult for your husband to make it and impossible for you to make it.

anyone planning a wedding on a wednesday (and halloween) should realize that this may limit the guest list’s availability to attend.

this wedding sounds a bit wishy washy so if your husband discusses this with her sooner than later, perhaps she can still alter the date.  if not, sorry.


Post # 12
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@jennicole01:   Is calling in sick an option as a last resort? 

When you work shift work and are scheluled to work on a specific holiday (Hallowe’en is a holiday in many people’s eyes) I would never consider to call in sick. That’s just cruel to the one who has to find a replacement!

Post # 13
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would think a Halloween wedding would be an awful night! So many parents want to trick or treat with their kids…

As for your Fiance, it’s only a 4 hour drive. He can make it that night and then drive back at like 4am the next morning?

Post # 16
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MadameTussaud:  good luck with that.  i wouldn’t expect her to change her date just for 1 or 2 people but she has to know that her date will be unacceptable for many guests.  keep us updated.

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