(Closed) How do I tell her nicely?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask her to find a new pair of shoes?
    Yes because the cork is too casual. : (39 votes)
    89 %
    No, because you are being too picky. : (5 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Just tell her you don’t think the shoe is dressy enough. If she hasn’t bought them yet, it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

    Post # 4
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I know it will probably be awkward but I would just say something to her or you will look at the pictures for years to come and get angry haha

    Post # 5
    916 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think she’s running it by you to get your input, so you can let her know!

    Post # 6
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I wouldnt address it – I guess in my mind you just have to pick your battles and this one doesnt seem to be worth it. There are most likely going to be very few or zero pictures of your bridesmaids shoe close up. But did you say her shoe was gold not silver? The cork thing isnt that big of a deal but getting the shoe in the wrong color would be the thing that bothered me. Regardless, I just dont think its worth mentioning because its something no one will notice….especially not you on your wedding day!

    Post # 7
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yeah, cork is too casual for a bridesmaid in a wedding.  Maybe let her down gently and show her something you had in mind.  

    Post # 9
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think it’s ok to say something.  Say it now before she buys!  Just ask if she would mind finding something less casual.  I would be a little apologetic about how you know you said she could pick anything but realize now you had guess you had something in mind not as casual. 

    Does it even go with the dress?

    Post # 10
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @summerbride12: Well, in that case you have two options

    1) you can tell her and depending on who she is she might not take it well or she might be totally understanding and get another pair of shoes – I just realized you said she hasnt bought them yet so therefore I think it might be okay

    2) dont say anything to her and when that shoe picture happens you just ask the photographer to only photograph the rest of the girls – like have your one Bridesmaid or Best Man get in line for the picture but tell your photog to only photograph the other girls feet – you might forget to do this and end up with a bad picture but you could also always crop it!

    I think you probably know your friend best and know how she might react. I know some of BMs were absolute drama queens so I was just trying to please them every step of the way (shouldnt it be the other way around!?) Good luck!

    Post # 11
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I don’t think she would have asked you if it was okay if you weren’t allowed to say it wasn’t.  As long as you’re not being over-controlling for the most part in other aspects of the wedding, I’m sure she’ll understand this one thing. 

    Post # 12
    46609 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Given that she told you about the shoes before she purchased them, I think it is appropriate to say that you feel the cork is a bit too casual.

    Here are a couple of  low wedges from endless.com that are all silver


    Post # 14
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If she hasn’t bought them yet then I would definitely say something. Just be nice about it and say that you feel that they are too casual. Maybe she was trying to find a pair that she would be able to wear again after your wedding? If thats the case then I would try to suggest a few pairs that she may like as well that would meet both of your needs. 

    I bought a cute pair of silver shoes a few years ago for my friends wedding. They were silver strapy kitten heels from Target. I know they were less than $20 and I’ve worn them a handful of times since. 

    Post # 15
    987 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    yeah Target is great for cheap silver strappy shoes that you’re only going to wear once. 

    Post # 16
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I know that I hate spending good money on shoes if I don’t really like them, so if that is a issue maybe she could get a cheap pair of silver shoes for the day.  If she doesn’t want to spend a lot check out payless.  I know the shoes aren’t high quality but since its only for one day idk if that will matter.  I wanted silver shoes on my girls too & am wearing silver myself.  

    So far I have three shoes for my wedding day because I kept finding silver shoes on sale.  I have a taller pair of heels for the ceremony (I want to almost be able to see my guy in the eyes) – $8.  Then a pair of of lower heels that I feel more comfortable in for the reception – $4.  Finally a pair of silver ballet flats for when my feet start hurting – $8. I never wear dressy shoes so I didn’t want to spend more then $20 and am so excited I got 3 pairs for that.  Sorry I’m just excited (I finally got the last pair today) so I wanted to share.

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