Post # 1
My husband bought me an amazing Tiffany’s bracelet for a wedding present with my new monogram. I had wished for a bracelet with my new monogram and showed him the Tiffany’s sterling silver heart toggle bracelet awhile back. Well, he bought the white gold version with a diamond heart charm and a silver engraved heart to the tune of 5x more expensive than the silver bracelet. I was expecting the silver, I would have been completely happy with the silver. I had no intention of looking at how much my bracelet cost but was on the website looking at a link a friend sent of her new necklace and got curious. Now I feel really guilty.
Truthfully, if I had known he was going to spend so much, I would have asked him to put it toward something different like a vacation or something more unique in the jewelry field. I don’t need or want such an expensive bracelet and now I feel completely guilty for looking at the price and for owning it.
How do I explain to him that, in the future, I would rather he spend less money on such a present without coming across ungrateful? Truth be told, the bracelet looks like it’s sterling and he could only get the engraved charm in sterling so I don’t see the point of having such an expensive bracelet that looks “cheap”. I really feel sick about this, he spent almost as much as he did on my engagement ring setting which is platinum! He is so proud of himself for picking it out and for picking the white gold specifically…
Post # 3
I seriously would not say anything. How much he spent on a wedding day gift should have very little relation to how much he will spend on a Christmas/Birthday present. If it becomes a pattern, address it in the future.
Post # 4
It’s a gift. Enjoy it. You’ll hurt his feelings if you say something about the cost. He wanted to get it for you, so let him be happy. Wear it with pride!
Post # 5
I say embrace how awesome that bracelet is, wear the heck out of it and plan on passing it down someday. Next time you give a hint about a present make it something totally different like a book to show him that it is really the thought and not neccasarily how much it is.
Post # 6
I would enjoy it because I am sure that he really wanted you to have it! (BTW-I would feel “guilty” about it too). I think you can choose to tell him how you feel about putting money towards a vacation at another time. He is proud to have you as his bride, and he obviously wanted you and everyone else to know it!!!-Don’t take that away from him. 🙂
Post # 7
My mom always did this. My father would get her expensive stuff and she would tell him to take it back.
If you can’t accept the gift without feeling sick to your stomach, say something. Communication is the best. If you don’t say something now, he’s always going to think he has to blow thousands of dollars on one object.
My mom always said she’d rather have a week vacation to somewhere fun and she really didn’t care for the “trinkets” so after a while he got it and they start going on week vacations twice a year. Once by themselves, and the other time with us as a family. The memories, to her, are worth far more than a pair of earrings or bracelet.
Post # 8
Dont say anything. He wanted to do something nice for you. Enjoy it. Now that you are married you can discuss future finacial decisions together including how much to spend on gifts.
Post # 9
@Miss Tattoo: How awesome is that? So cute.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t say anything (besides thank you x10000), he probably feels amazing to have been able to get you something you’d love and it may take the wind out of his sails a little.
Post # 11
I think the people suggesting not to say anything probably have it right. On the otherhand I know myself – if I was in this situation I would have to say something (just my personality).
I would probably tell him how much I love the bracelet and how much it means to me BUT that I feel guilty about how much money he spent on it. I would explain that in the future I would rather we spend that amount of money on things we can enjoy together, like a vacation. I don’t think this would hurt his feelings, but instead make him realize that time spent with him is more valuable than anything he could buy.
Post # 12
I would say nothing and if he keeps doing something like this in the future make a deal with each other that presents will be experiences you share together or put a dollar amt on it (I know its not romatic).
For xmas my SO only spend 50 and then we go shopping for a needy family and their needs list (through an organized charity). You could try to organize group presents like that in the future as well.
Post # 13
He did not mind spending this to present his wife with a gift that he knew she wanted. It’s actually very sweet. I totally know what what you are thinking (which is more being more practical), but I think saying something will hurt his feelings.
Post # 14
Thanks for the advice, I think I just need to keep my mouth shut this time. He really was supper happy to give it to me and I do love it, I just could have loved it all the same in sterling silver and he could have used the $$ for something else too! I am glad I put this out there because I tend to speak my mind freely without thinking of the outcome. I just never should have looked at how much it cost.
A lot of great ideas came out for future though like wishing for things of little value and shopping for a family at Christmas instead of each other. We are also big experience gifters and i am sure that will continue.
Post # 15
Maybe next time a gift opportunity comes along (birthday, Christmas, etc.) you could tell him you’d like to put the money that would be spend on a gift towards a trip/experience/etc. instead this year.
And I agree with PPs – your husband is so sweet to buy you such a bracelet, and it’s super cute how excited he was to “pick it out” even though you showed him. Appreciate the sentiment, and the beauty of gold!
Post # 16
- Wedding: March 2011 - The Providence Biltmore
I agree with PPs about enjoying the gift and not saying anything. I would feel guilty as well. Zeb and I have a spending cap on holidays that we set in advance according to our financial situation. You may want to try speaking to him before gift giving if you think this will be a trend.
Congrats on the bracelet! It sounds beautiful.