(Closed) How do I "tell" my boyfriend what type of ring to get?

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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bakingal22:  my DH knew what ring styles I liked because I told him.  I also told him what I didn’t like.  We ended up shoppign together and picking my ring together.  We both knew it was ‘the one’ after seeing many similar rings.  We picked the setting, DH picked the diamond himself, I knew nothing of when he actually bought it and it was still (sort of) a surprise – we’d been together a long time and he’s not exactly a master of stealthy gifting.

Post # 3
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

If he doesn’t prompt you to go ring shopping then I would just drop hints about the general diamond shape and setting. Like if you’re flipping through Vogue or something there are lots of ads  “ooh I love round diamonds with cushion halos” or “isn’t this princess solitaire the most perfect ring?”

Also, friends who get engaged, in private comment to him about her ring. “I’d love something just like that” or “glad she’s happy but id hate a halo ring! Classic chic is better”


Post # 4
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Well if he wants to surprise you then I am not sure there IS a good way to bring it up. Have you guys had a discussion about engagement and timeline? Because “eventually” sometimes means different things to different people!

A good strategy might be to have a good girlfriend or sister he knows drop some hints.

I’d suggest going shopping yourself (maybe with that same girlfriend or sister) so you figure out what you like and they can drop the right hints!

Post # 5
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Personally, I just didn’t bring it up (or really think about it) until my husband asked me about what I wanted in a ring. Since he brought it up, we talked about it and my preferences. In my case we ended up combining two heirloom rings into my ring, so it was a little complicated and required some discussion with a jewler. 

If you’re super particular and will be upset if you don’t get exactly what you want, or something specific that you don’t want, then you may want to bring it up. If you don’t have your heart set on something specific, I would just leave it be and worry about it if he asks.

In your case, I might try to find a way to mention that you don’t like round stones, since that’s your only specific. Guys don’t have the greatest memory for that kind of stuff, so keeping it simple for him “I don’t like round stones” is a lot easier than “Oh I like Princess and Cushion and Marquis and Pear and Halos and Pave… An easy way to bring this up is, if a friend gets engaged, you can bring up their ring and what you like/didn’t like about it. But keep it basic!

Post # 6
2221 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I thought I knew what I wanted for years and years and years…. until he took me to the store to get my finger sized and I actually tried it on. I never thought I’d want a solitare on a plain band but that is what I loved on my finger. 

I think you need to try them on to decide for sure. Feel free to go with a girlfriend to the mall and try stuff on to get an idea. 

Also, don’t forget you’ll need to wear a band with it! Get an idea of what kind of band you’d pair with it too. Sometimes I see girls with ridiculous rings that I wonder how they expect to pair a wedding band with it.

Post # 7
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

I think if you guys are in the area of discussing rings then there’s nothing wrong with simply telling him straight up “XXX is my favorite type of setting, what do you think?” You don’t have to tell him expectantly or proddingly, that might make him uncomfortable or feel like you’re putting pressure on him. But I think just an easy, open conversation is a good place to start and see if he’s really willing to hearing about specifics, but if he isn’t then it might be best to reign it back since he once again might feel nervous about doing something wrong.

We never really had much of a ring conversation. Once we stopped my a Tiffany’s in the mall, but it was more window shopping than specifically to look at ring style. Rings aren’t really my forte so I don’t really have an idea about what I like, just that I mentioned that the classic Tinffany’s solitaire wasn’t really my style when we were looking at them. So he pretty much designed the ring himself knowing my taste in jewelry (no yellow or rose gold, no colored stones), and though I still have no idea what it looks like I’m really excited to see what he came up with ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 8
1942 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My guy knew what I liked from commercials on TV and stuff….. but he actually went on Pinterest and stalked my board to really get an idea of what I liked before he purchased the ring. 

He nailed it…….. 


Post # 9
8516 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

No matter what your preferences are, you definitely should go try on several rings. You’d be surprised how much your opinion may change after seeing them on your hand.

As for hints, I guess I first started “hinting” by making remarks about pictures of my friends’ engagement rings. I’d be like, “Oh look, Shelley got engaged!” *flip through some Facebook pics with him that include ones of the ring* “Oh that’s nice, but a little too blingy for my taste.” (you get the idea)

As we got more serious, I started just flat-out telling him what styles I liked. We talk about anything and everything together, so it would have felt odd not to talk to him about it.

I think after 4 years, you should feel comfortable doing that too! He shouldn’t find it out of left field.

Post # 10
2407 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We talked about getting engaged and I told him that I did not like princess or marquise cut diamonds at all.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

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bakingal22:  I went shopping with my sister once and a friend another time and tried on all kinds of settings, styles, etc.  It was good to see what things looked like on my hand. 

He knew this was happening.  He’d asked me one day what I thought was an acceptable price range for an egagement ring (I was ever-so-helpful and said $100 to $10000.  I didn’t want to insist on a price point and I definitely didn’t want him spending tons and tons on it either.  I did assume he’d spend more than $100 though.  I looked mainly in the 4k – 6k range.) 

I wrote down style #s I loved.  One day he wanted to go look together to get an idea.  So we did. By then I had a pretty good idea of what I’d liked. 

What I didn’t know is that he’d set an appointment with a designer to work on a custom ring. 

None of that mattered. We stumbled across a crazy sale in NYC at Christmas.  And he decided he’d buy the ring then and there (we saved more than 50% on the ring.)  So I actually picked my own.  We used the designer for our wedding rings instead. ๐Ÿ™‚  They are custom and almost done!  YAY! 

I’m not a ‘hinter’ at all. I’m as subtle as a freight train. It works for us. 

Post # 12
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We got on the subject of marriage, and I slipped it in the conversation. I was kind of joking when I said “All I want is a giant sparkly princess cut diamond. So when people see it, they think ‘wow, he LOVES her!'” I was really only serious about the cut, he took the size comment and ran with it haha

He completely exceeded my expectations ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Im pretty upfront and type A (shocking!) so when we started talking about our futures I did a lot of my own research (thanks bees!) and then straight up told him I would like a specific shape and size diamond (i gave him a range). Then I sent him maybe a million pictures of what I liked. i told him he could choose from the pictures and the size (in my desired range) and the specs (Again in an acceptable range). We live together so I knew his income and general budget for the ring so I made sure to respect that in my decision making. We are a really open couple though so it was pretty easy for us, and the actual proposal was a total surprise as was the ring because even though I had an idea of how it would look I never tried it on or saw it in person.!

Post # 14
2953 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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bakingal22:  I would take yoruself to a local jeweler that has a nice diamond showcase and try on different shapes and sizes. That will give you the best idea of what you really like. I did that and went in and said, “My BF wants me to pick out some ring styles because he’s planning to propose in the next few months.” They will let you try them on to your heart’s content and join you in squeals of joy!!

Post # 15
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

you dont “tell” or go ring shopping with him. Why cant you girls just be happy with what he presents you with? what happened to being suprised when he proposes. Yeah i want to be proposed to and get to look at a ring i already knew i was getting!   has your SO never got you any other kind of jewerly before? Did he have you pick it out first? If your answering yes i feel sorry for your SO. I love that i had no clue i was getting proposed to, Even though my ring “isn’t what i wanted” i love it and would not trade it in for the WORLD. He has gotten me 8 pieces of Jewerly in the 7 years we have been together and i love every piece. You know why? because he took the time and the effort and it was his money and he did the best he could to make me happy and really thats what being in a relationship is all about

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