(Closed) How do I "tell" my boyfriend what type of ring to get?

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

bakingal22:  What I also did was go ring shopping with my mom and had the jeweler write down the size/style number of the ring I liked on the back of his business card. My mom kept the card and was planning on giving it to my SO when he asked for my parents’ blessing.

ETA: My SO is really oblivious when it comes to buying anything for me, much less fine jewelry, so he really appreciated direction. If I had known he wanted to have more say in the matter, I probably wouldn’t have been so direct (but still would have dropped hints) 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  Grid.
Post # 32
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

bakingal22:  just tell him. If you’re going to marry this man you can be honest with him. You have tow ear it for the rest of your life!

Post # 34
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

bakingal22:  just tell him. I flat out told my husband what I wanted. Oops lol. He was relieved though to know especially since he payed so much money for it. 

Post # 35
9210 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

bakingal22:  I’ve just Googled or used the search bar on the upper right of Wedding Bee to look up search terms like “size 6 finger” or the various carat sizes I was interested in. Then if I saw threads come up that looked like they were relevant, I’d look through poster’s pics.

Post # 36
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

bakingal22:  there’s a search function on the forum main page just search “ring size #” and look for a thread titled that. 

Also Tiffanys has an app that let’s you pop their many engagement rings on a pic of your finger which is pretty fun. But the most fun is just going to a store and trying them on! 

Post # 37
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I looked a bit online and had some idea of what I wanted, but I had to physically touch and see the rings and stones in a store before really narrowing it down. Even then, I didn’t have a #1 that I absolutely loved.

Maybe your Boyfriend or Best Friend will take you to a store so he can observe what your likes are. That’s what Fiance did with me, but not everyone takes that approach. Otherwise, you could casually show him pics online or tell him what you like and don’t like. 

Post # 39
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

We were talking about a friend of his who got married and that turned to the topic of rings. In a very casual way I told him I actually did not want a diamond. I wanted a colored gem. And he asked if eventually when we were ready, if I would mind choosing the ring or helping him with the style and the gemstone as it was much more difficult than just getting a diamond. For him it was overwhelming having to wonder about the type of gem, the color, the quality, where to get it from without getting ripped off etc. Plus he said he wanted me to absolutely LOVE my ring. He is a very practical man and he said there was no point in spending so much money in something that I will have to learn to love instead of something I actually am crazy about. I said no problem. i actually love the idea of choosing it. So I chose the stone, the jeweler, designed the ring, and now I am “patiently” waiting as he has it and I have to wait until he wants to give it as he wants to do something special. Been waiting for a month so far and it’s driving me bonkers! Lol

Post # 40
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

bakingal22:  It sounds like you don’t really have a strong preference and you said yourself you’d be happy with whatever you get… Then let your man surprise you!!

If you go ring shopping alone and try on a few rings, you’ll always be comparing your ring to those, unless you think you’re the type to insist on a design you like if you find it.

Personally I only cared about the metal colour and nothing else, so when walking past a ring shop and noticing my boy was looking (was he thinking about ring shopping…!?) I said that I liked silver-coloured rings but thought gold ones were old-style, because that’s what my parents have. He followed through with a gorgeous white gold solitaire.. I’m very happy!

Post # 41
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I started looking and gaining interest when he asked me to look weeks into dating lol. I went online, bluenile, pinterest etc then i went to a store to try on rings with a friend. The lady that helped was really helpful. from my internet research i was sure i wanted a round and i figured out my size and that very thin bands look good on my finger. Also big stones look like cocktail rings(sz 4.5). 

I fell in love with an antique-looking setting on blue nile and i just love swirly settings so i showed him the pic! 2 yrs later he was at his family-owned jewelry store at his hometown and he showed them the pic of the setting i wanted but he ended up creating a setting for me. I love it.

Post # 42
1497 posts
Bumble bee

I wanted a solitaire, and that’s all I specifically wanted. I didn’t care about the cut of diamond. I just wanted something simple and classy that I could wear 24/7 without worrying about losing a diamond, or ruining the setting. 

Darling Husband and I talked about marriage long before we were engaged. We wanted to finish our degrees and buy a house before we got engaged. When the topic would come up though, I had mentioned to him “I really like the solitaire rings” and left it at that. He chose the gold, and all the other details. 

I think if you think you’ll be picky with what he picks, if you have a lot of details you want in a ring, then it’s best you go out with him or choose one yourself. You should make this clear to him now though, rather than after he proposes with a ring you don’t like.

Post # 43
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

You don’t. Leave that up to your best friend. 

Post # 44
983 posts
Busy bee

I have shown him specific rings that I love and hate. I also told him that some people upgrade or change their rings because they don’t like them and he was horrified to think about that so is now determined to get it right first go. I love jewellery but I’m also quite specific and I would like to use my grandmothers ring as my wedding band so there are definitely some styles which just won’t work for me. 

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