(Closed) How do I tell my family & friends I want to completely change my wedding plans?

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
911 posts
Busy bee

If you’re footing the bill, it is 110% appropriate not to move forward with having a wedding that doesn’t fit your financial priorities and resources. I think refunding the deposit to your dad and eloping is really smart. However, you mentioned that the elopement would run about $6000; considering what you said about your current financial situation, is an elopement at that price point something you can afford? (I don’t mean to pry, just food for thought…a lovely elopement can be planned for a lot less, depending on your wants/budget!)

Good for you for approaching this with an eye to your wallet and the future. Congratulations on your engagement!

Post # 3
911 posts
Busy bee

Oh, and to answer the question of how to tell them, I think it’s as simple as saying “We love the idea of having a big wedding to celebrate with you all, but after doing more research into what everything will cost, unfortunately it’s just not in our budget right now. Instead, we will be eloping. We will take lots of pictures and can’t wait to show them to you when we get home!”

No apology needed, because you are not doing anything wrong here. Stick to your guns and do what’s right for you two, not anyone else!


Post # 5
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

They’ll get over it. Do whats best for yourself.

Post # 6
3323 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I wouldn’t wait to tell your father. Cancel asap, you’ll have better luck getting some of the $ back. June 2017 is still a ways away. Even if a contract says non refundable, if it’s a recent booking they *might* still refund. You never know, and you’ll be better off asking now than in 6m.

I also think it’s a wise decision. Starting life in debt (student loans) is tough! I think wanting to pay those down instead of putting towards a wedding is very smart.

Post # 7
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If I had to do it all over again I would have eloped. Wedding are expencive. They are a lot of work. It start to move away from what you truley want. 

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