Post # 1
So, here’s the deal… I started planning my wedding in January for a June 2017 wedding… As of right now, I am out $1,000 in deposits I can’t get back (I can easily pay that back to my father in a couple months when I start working, and I am gladly willing to do so- also, $500 of that went to a photographer and I could use it toward an engagement photo session). As I have really gotten into this, and realized what I want is going to cost upwards $12,000, I am ready to back out and just fly away somewhere with my fiance for less than half the cost. My father paid for my deposits, but the rest of wedding bill is something I have to foot. As a new grad with a decent job lined up, I would much rather spend that money elsewhere and get to paying off my student loans. I am just afraid some of my family is going to be upset with me for wanting to do a complete 180. I know this day is supposed to be about my FH and I, but at this point I have involved my family too. I would like to wait until I have the funds to pay back my dad to bring this up (which will be in the next couple months when I start my job), but I also do not think it is fair to him for me to keep this a secret now that I am pretty confident in my decision. I just do not want to deal with this wedding planning anymore. I refuse to settle for less than what I envision, and I would be 100% happy with just me, my fiance, and a beautiful background to get married in front of. The reason I didn’t plan a destination wedding from the start is because of a couple family members feeling like they have to see us get married, but they’re not the ones paying for it.
Post # 2
If you’re footing the bill, it is 110% appropriate not to move forward with having a wedding that doesn’t fit your financial priorities and resources. I think refunding the deposit to your dad and eloping is really smart. However, you mentioned that the elopement would run about $6000; considering what you said about your current financial situation, is an elopement at that price point something you can afford? (I don’t mean to pry, just food for thought…a lovely elopement can be planned for a lot less, depending on your wants/budget!)
Good for you for approaching this with an eye to your wallet and the future. Congratulations on your engagement!
Post # 3
Oh, and to answer the question of how to tell them, I think it’s as simple as saying “We love the idea of having a big wedding to celebrate with you all, but after doing more research into what everything will cost, unfortunately it’s just not in our budget right now. Instead, we will be eloping. We will take lots of pictures and can’t wait to show them to you when we get home!”
No apology needed, because you are not doing anything wrong here. Stick to your guns and do what’s right for you two, not anyone else!
Post # 4
When I first started all of this, I had set a $5,000 budget. I quickly reaized for what I want, $5,000 would barely cover catering (my fiance and I are huge foodies). $6,000 is something I could comfortably afford, and I am not even sure it will end up costing that much! Really, even $8,000 was a number I could have stayed comfortable at, but once I realized I would have to cut a lot of corners to keep it at $8,000 or less, I started to get uncomfortable. And thank you for congratulating me and helping! 🙂
Post # 5
They’ll get over it. Do whats best for yourself.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t wait to tell your father. Cancel asap, you’ll have better luck getting some of the $ back. June 2017 is still a ways away. Even if a contract says non refundable, if it’s a recent booking they *might* still refund. You never know, and you’ll be better off asking now than in 6m.
I also think it’s a wise decision. Starting life in debt (student loans) is tough! I think wanting to pay those down instead of putting towards a wedding is very smart.
Post # 7
If I had to do it all over again I would have eloped. Wedding are expencive. They are a lot of work. It start to move away from what you truley want.