(Closed) How do I tell my friend I can’t babysit for her anymore?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@SouthernGirl:  Tell her that “Though, I love little Tommy-devil-spawn, I really cant watch him anymore, I just dont think my home is the right environment for him since my house isnt really at all child proof. I would never forgive myself if he got injured at my house!” How could she argue that?

Post # 4
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsNarwhal: That’s my suggestion as well. And if she offers up her house, then I guess I’d just say that while I love her, I’m not ready to take on the responsiblity of babysitting anymore and that your mother is getting older and cannot take care of active children with her health. 

Seriously, don’t punish yourself and ruin your things just to try to avoid hurting her feelings. You’ve made it known that he’s being destructive and rude (and she’s well aware on her own) but hasn’t worked to change things while you’re there. Be polite but firm for your own sanity.

Post # 5
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yep: you will let your friend down easier if you put the emphasis on YOU and not your friend’s son. I would say something like “I don’t think I (and my mother) are the best babysitters for Tommy anymore. I don’t seem able to get through to him when he’s upset or rambunctious or doing something he’s not supposed to. For his safety and development we won’t be babysitting for him any more. I think it’s in his best interest to find someone who can manage him better than either of us can.” Or something like that.

Post # 7
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@SouthernGirl:  That’s why I would emphasize your babysitting him in general, not just at your house. Tell her clearly you are not the babysitter he needs and you don’t feel comfortable with him in your care. Tell her clearly you will not be babysitting for him any more. 

Post # 9
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@SouthernGirl:  Give her a firm no then. Such as “No, thats not going to work for me and I dont feel comfortable”.

Post # 11
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’ll watch him!

Post # 12
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You are nicer than me.

 

I would put it bluntly. I also would ask to be reimbursed for everything the little ‘angel’ broke.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Use the broken record method with “I’m sorry but that won’t be possible”

Don’t give her excuses since she will have a work around solution.

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You are doing her a favor, and she seems to think its your job to watch her kids. Its her child and her responsebility. I and my parents had the same issue with my oldest brother and sister in law. Eventually after we stop watching the kids because of my badly behaved neice, babysitter after babysitter quit and the realize it was abigger issue when even sis in laws family didn`t want to watch the kids. They have come around now, and guess what the kids behave when their with us and yet as soon as mommy and daddy come around they start behaving badly again.

Be frim and honest with her about why you are no longer interested in watching her kids. From experience I can tell yu she will offended and hopefully eventually she gets over it. I also know when this kid goes to school and daycare he going to have the same issues so eventually hopefully she will see she is doing him a disservice by not setting boundaries.

Post # 15
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee

Lol, you are much nicer than me as well. I’d tell her that until her little devil can better behave himself you can’t watch him. Tough love.

Post # 16
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would definitely frame it as being in his and her best interest that you not watch him anymore.

I really, really hope she has offered to fix the things he has destroyed. 

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