(Closed) How do I tell my MOH she is being rude

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HisBrownEyedGirl:  If she has always been like this, and you knew this, and you still chose her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, did you really expect that her behavior would change?

Post # 4
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@HisBrownEyedGirl:  A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.  You said she has always been this way, why did you think it would change? 

The only truly rude things are her trying to make friends choose which wedding they attend (insane) and being smug about your STD cards (just not nice).

The budget thing is really none of your business.  Weddings cost a lot, both financial and emotional. 

She is allowed to have her wedding whevever she wants.  I agree it sucks that she made a commitment to you and now doesn’t want to follow through.  This kind of thing seems to happen often.

 Her dress and Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are naturally going to be more important to her than yours.  Your stuff is only important to you as harsh as it sounds.  It’s really something I’ve even had to tell myself. 

Post # 5
1772 posts
Buzzing bee

@HisBrownEyedGirl:  I think if “Not a big deal.. but she decided to schedule her wedding 3 weeks after mine!!!”  deserves 3 exclamation points, then maybe you’re being a bit sensitive.  

I once had someone criticize my invitation to a bridal shower because I didn’t say bring a gift.  (I had included the store registries).  Whatever.  I thought it was rude when at her daughter’s shower we all self-addressed the thank you cards.  None of us are perfect and we all have different tastes and priorities. 

You can drive yourself crazy and spend more emotional energy than it’s worth on stuff like this, or let it roll off your back.  You get to choose how you react to others.   

Post # 6
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

1. Take this out as a thing to be mad about. Her parents contribution is just a contribution. She has every right to vent about the other costs she is incurring on her own and even the costs her parents have to incur. Wedding stuff adds up and is not cheap.

2. You already confirmed with the high in demand Bridesmaid or Best Man that she will be in your wedding. If this comes up againignore your Maid/Matron of Honor or tell her not to worry about your affair- the Bridesmaid or Best Man is confirmed.

3. Yeah, if she has nothing nice to say she should say nothing at all. Tell her this. She is your close friend afterall. Teach her some manners.

4. Obviously her wedding is taking priority over yours. If you ccan’t make it to all of her stuff either oh well. Be hapoy and go on about your planning with those that are available.  Don’t let her pessimistic attitude deter you or slow you down.

If she really geslts under your skin ask her to just come as a guest. The End.

Post # 7
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@HisBrownEyedGirl:  No, I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla. But I also wouldn’t have asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place if this is how she always is. Sorry, but you had to have known she was capable of causing issues and now you’re put in an awkward situation.

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