Post # 1
My maid of honor this entire planning process has not been helpful at all. And to be honest its starting to get me very frustrated. I am getting to the point where I am about to ask her to step down as a Maid/Matron of Honor. I am looming to the bees to see of I am overreacting
1- My Fiance and I have been engaged for a long time because we are paying for the wedding ourselves and I dont want to take a loan out to pay for it. My MOHs family has put asside $10k for her wedding. But she is always complaining that the wedding is costing a lot.
2- She got engaged after me. Not a big deal.. but she decided to schedule her wedding 3 weeks after mine!!! Not only that but she has made it a point to say that one of the bridesmaids in both of our weddings will have to choose between which wedding she is going to go to (she lives in the UK). I have spoken to the other bridesmaid and she assured me she will be there.
3 – I got my save the dates in yesterday. I was so excited to get them in because we have been waiting so long and kt makes ot seem real now. She totly crushed me. She said “they look ok.. kind of cheap.looking and it doesnt say you are getting married”. We were out with friends and my Fi started to get really upset with her and one of our other friends said anyone will know what it means.
4- my dress should be here in the next few days and one of my bm will be coming home for a few days and i really wanted her to come and see the whole package together to.get some input. She has said oh well i dont think we will be able to get everything done but she has made a point to make appointments to look at her dress and to get her bm dresses ordered.
At this point i am so frustrated with her. I dont know if its just me being a brideszilla or if she is really being rude. We have been friends for 10+ years and she has always been like this. I really want to confront her and say somethong but I dont know what to say.. or of I should just drop it.
Post # 3
@HisBrownEyedGirl: If she has always been like this, and you knew this, and you still chose her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, did you really expect that her behavior would change?
Post # 4
@HisBrownEyedGirl: A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. You said she has always been this way, why did you think it would change?
The only truly rude things are her trying to make friends choose which wedding they attend (insane) and being smug about your STD cards (just not nice).
The budget thing is really none of your business. Weddings cost a lot, both financial and emotional.
She is allowed to have her wedding whevever she wants. I agree it sucks that she made a commitment to you and now doesn’t want to follow through. This kind of thing seems to happen often.
Her dress and Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are naturally going to be more important to her than yours. Your stuff is only important to you as harsh as it sounds. It’s really something I’ve even had to tell myself.
Post # 5
@HisBrownEyedGirl: I think if “Not a big deal.. but she decided to schedule her wedding 3 weeks after mine!!!” deserves 3 exclamation points, then maybe you’re being a bit sensitive.
I once had someone criticize my invitation to a bridal shower because I didn’t say bring a gift. (I had included the store registries). Whatever. I thought it was rude when at her daughter’s shower we all self-addressed the thank you cards. None of us are perfect and we all have different tastes and priorities.
You can drive yourself crazy and spend more emotional energy than it’s worth on stuff like this, or let it roll off your back. You get to choose how you react to others.
Post # 6
1. Take this out as a thing to be mad about. Her parents contribution is just a contribution. She has every right to vent about the other costs she is incurring on her own and even the costs her parents have to incur. Wedding stuff adds up and is not cheap.
2. You already confirmed with the high in demand Bridesmaid or Best Man that she will be in your wedding. If this comes up againignore your Maid/Matron of Honor or tell her not to worry about your affair- the Bridesmaid or Best Man is confirmed.
3. Yeah, if she has nothing nice to say she should say nothing at all. Tell her this. She is your close friend afterall. Teach her some manners.
4. Obviously her wedding is taking priority over yours. If you ccan’t make it to all of her stuff either oh well. Be hapoy and go on about your planning with those that are available. Don’t let her pessimistic attitude deter you or slow you down.
If she really geslts under your skin ask her to just come as a guest. The End.
Post # 7
@HisBrownEyedGirl: No, I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla. But I also wouldn’t have asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place if this is how she always is. Sorry, but you had to have known she was capable of causing issues and now you’re put in an awkward situation.
Post # 8
Honestly the only reason why I had her be a Maid/Matron of Honor is because she is the one that lives geographically carat to me. One lives in London and the other lives in Virginia.
Honestly the budget thing doesn’t really bother me. It’s just that she always complains about it. And I just want to sort of shake her and make her realize how easy she has it (her family has always paid her bills and between her family and her soon to be husband family.. they are paying for it all. She hasn’t had to pay for anything).
I guess when I asked her to be a part of our wedding she would be a little more supportive. I know it sounds super cheesy and immature… I’m just sad