(Closed) How do I tell my mom I don't want to wear her dress??

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell her you’re superstitious and would like to start anew with a wedding dress of your own.  

Post # 4
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Tell her you love her but you aren’t comfortable wearing her dress since her marriage ended up in divorce; you just feel like it would be bad luck and you want a fresh start for your marriage.  Once I told my mom that she finally got rid of her wedding dress which she held onto for years after the divorce.

Post # 5
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MeiFrancis:  I’d try it on as planned, then perhaps tell her that you’d feel a bit sad wearing the dress since she and your dad divorced.  Ask if you could perhaps borrow her veil instead or perhaps take a bit of the lace from the gown to wrap around your bouquet so that her dress would be part of the day without being a reminder of their marriage ending.

Post # 6
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MadameTussaud:  +1

Does she have a veil or something you could wear instead? Or have her dress made/incorporated into your dress somehow (maybe a sash?)?

Post # 8
28 posts
  • Wedding: March 2014

I wouldn’t tell her that her dress is bad luck because her marriage ended in divorce. Might hurt her feelings. Just tell her that you want a dress of your own and then maybe ask if she has a veil or something else that you can incorporate into your outfit for that day.

Post # 9
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

“Spill” something on it when you’re trying it on.

Post # 10
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t mention anything regarding the divorce. Try it on to make her happy, look in the mirror and say “Its pretty but I had something else in mind. Are you available next week to go with me?”

Post # 14
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Just come out and say it!  You’re a grown woman and you’re going to wear what you want to wear. 

Post # 15
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I was in a similar situation.  My parents are still happily married, but I did NOT like my mom’s dress, it was very dated, and it looked awful on me.  I finally convinced her that I wouldn’t wear it for those reasons (though I did wear her veil), but what she didn’t know was that I did have a big surprise for her.  I took the dress to be altered so I could wear it to the rehearsal dinner.  She had no clue, but she cried and cried and cried when she realized what I was wearing.  Then, that night, I gave her another surprise: a framed photo of me wearing her dress pre-alterations.  That’s when she completely lost it.  It meant a lot to her, and I still got my own dress.  Maybe you could do something similar?

My mom on her wedding day:

My bridal portrait in my mom’s dress pre-alterations:


Me in her dress post-alterations at the rehearsal.  I had the sleeves removed and the skirt hemmed to knee-length:

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