Post # 31
lizzyxoxo : My husband is the same way. We talk about it a lot because he is aware of it. However, there was a time in his life when, “I followed all the rules and I faked charisma and everybody thought I was great.” He tells me it was the worst time in his life because he was so busy giving so much energy for other people he never had the energy to give himself what he needed. My family can love him for the way he is. It is so much kinder to ask my family to allow him to be who he is, than ask him to completely change who he is for their comfort level. It is so hard to not put yourself in the middle of it, however, you can’t put yourself in the middle of it. He is not a kid who isn’t being polite. He is an adult interacting with other adults. They will figure him out, and he will figure them out.
Post # 32
Guarantee he’s been criticized about it from everyone EXCEPT you. Don’t add yourself to that pile.
Post # 33
My husband is extremely extroverted, as is his immediate family. It’s one of the main things that attracted me to him, as he pulls me out of my shell and helps me meet more people. When I first met his family, they made comments about me being quiet. They even make jokes from time to time that ‘they really like me now that I’ve started talking.’ I’m talkative once I get to know someone, but I struggle to make small talk with strangers.
My husband and I have had a lot of conversations about this, and he knows it’s something I want to work on. He often gives me pointers before we are attending a social event like “Ask people how their New Years was” or “Ask cousin X how college is.” These things seem so painfully obvious once he suggests them but they literally do not occur to me.
Have you and your fiance talked about him being an introvert before? It doesn’t bother me to talk about it with my husband, as he knows it’s something I’m trying to work on. However, that doesn’t apply to everyone. He might be perfectly happy being an introvert with no desire to change.