(Closed) How do I tell my sisters and sister in law I dont want them to be my bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have 5 sisters and I didn’t have any of them as BM’s at my first wedding. I also didn’t want a large wedding party. 

I think it would go over better if you phrased it more positively. Instead of ” I don’t want my sisters or SIL as BM’s” try ” I have always wanted a small wedding and have chosen ___ as my MOH  and ____ as my BM”.

 I don’t think many FSIL’s would expect to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man at age 40. She should be mature enough to undertand the dilemna brides face.

Post # 4
8 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think they will be understanding maybe you can have them involved in some way as readers, greeters, or a speech at the wedding?

Post # 5
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that your Future Sister-In-Law should be mature enough to realize that if you aren’t even having all of your own sisters in your wedding party that she wouldn’t be in it either. Just tell everyone that you’re having a small destination wedding and it seems silly to have 7 people standing with you. 


Post # 6
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I think the fact that you are keeping things very small and only having a Maid/Matron of Honor and one niece (whom I presume you’re extremely close to, and everyone knows it?) will make it easier. It would be tougher for your sisters to accept it if, say, you were having four friends as BMs but no sisters … under the circumstances, though, I think that if you are clear about wanting a small wedding party and about wanting them to be involved as readers, etc., they will understand.

Post # 7
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance has 9 Groomsmen and his one brother wasn’t choosen to be a Groomsmen. It’s perfectly acceptable. Is it bad advice to just not bring it up around her? Do you see/spend time with her often? if she asks about the wedding use that as the opportunity to ask her to be involved in the ceremony. As for your sisters if they ask just state the truth. Your reason is acceptable. Maybe because it is a Destination Wedding you could say I wasn’t sure if you all could make it?

The topic ‘How do I tell my sisters and sister in law I dont want them to be my bridesmaids’ is closed to new replies.

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