How do I tell someone they need to improve their table manners?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 151
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think you really should speak to him. If he deals with clients and behaves inappropraitely whilst doing so then it 100% is your place. I think the best way to soften the blow is not to try too hard to soften the blow. If you try to cushion it, then it makes it sound like its something he should be embarrassed about. If you just say it directly, but as though it isn’t really a big deal I think he’ll take it better. That said… I wouldn’t want to actually have to do it myself…

Post # 152
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

not sure how i stumbled upon this thread. i’m sorry to drag it on longer but i can’t help it. 

its 2017 – how are there grown adults that “don’t know how” to use a knife? how can this be a thing? i almost want to find one of these adults and corner them with questions. lol

Post # 153
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

1. sorry I didn’t read all 11 pages (I skimmed 1-3 and then 9-11)–what did your mentor say?  What did you end up doing?

2. I don’t think talking to him is wrong.  Maybe there’s better wording, but I thought it was a given that table manners are really important if you eat with clients.  My dad had an interview with the IMF (back in the late 80s, lol) and he was judged on his table manners.  At the business school where I did my undergrad, they take classes on table manners, at a restaurant set up just for them! 

 

Post # 154
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

nifer317 :  one of my BFF’s brothers friends came with them to the cottage when he was 16.  Before then, they had never realized just how unprepared for life he was.  He still had no idea how to use a knife–his mom cut all his food.  BFF’s mom was so surprised when she found out she had to cut the food for this 16 year old boy who apparently couldn’t do it himself.  (She is NOT the sort that puts up with that sort of thing, so it must have been pretty bad for her to give in.  She’s the sort of woman that fights off muggers who have a gun to her at 3am at an ATM.  Literally, she did that.)

Also, for those who wonder if this kid maybe had a legit mental disability–no.  He comes across as totally normal.  He’s actually a cop now, and has been for the better part of a decade.

Post # 155
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

amanda1988 :  that’s just madness. holy cow. also very strange to coddle a teenager like that. they must’ve never let him go out and eat with anyone else? such a backwards way he must’ve been raised. but even still, that’s almost excusable for a teenager.. but for a grown adult? i dunno.

the only thing i can imagine is what some other poster said – that some vegetables go flying when you try to cut them. asparagus gets crazy sometimes. maybe he thought that would happen here and didn’t want to cut it. then people would be freaking out about him throwing food.. so maybe he should’ve just not eaten it. but then people would be offended that he didn’t eat. not that i’m excusing him cuz it was definitely inappropriate. i just would love to know his thoughts while doing it. so intriguing. 

OP, you should take him out to lunch where they serve hard to eat food and see what happens. then you’d be in a closed off environment (no others) and you could point it out. jokingly would be a good start.. maybe he’d open up as to why he eats the way he does? and maybe you’d be genuinely improving his life by doing this and pointing it out to him. 

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