How do I tell someone they need to improve their table manners?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 121
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Innerdonught :  Uh, that’s EXACTLY how HR operates. I don’t know where you live but in the US, HR works for the company, not the employee. Employment is at-will. You can be fired at any time for no reason at all.

Post # 122
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

sweatergal007 :  Uh, he is being singled out. Because he’s the only one eating like a wild animal. If he complained to HR they would think he was insane.

Post # 123
Member
4878 posts
Honey bee

fredthebasil :  Good point. Theres a lot of lawsuits in my state so I say start with the path of least resistance. 

Post # 126
Member
1564 posts
Bumble bee

 

Some questions for all the pearl clutchers:

What if YOU owned this company?  What if it was someone who represented YOUR company, the company that puts food in your children’s mouths and enables your employees to pay their mortgage/rent and feed their children too? 

If you seriously had an employee who ate like a 2 year old at a business lunch with clients, would you just ignore it?  Would you really risk the financial health of the company you own so you don’t ‘make someone feel bad’? If you think this way, then you have not lived in the business world for very long. There is a professional and tactful way to address this, and it definitely must be addressed. And not with some passive aggressive ‘all company etiquette class’.

Think about the different reasons you have stopped shopping at a store, online or brick and mortar. I would bet that some of your ‘personal boycotts’ were nothing egregious that the store did, but something that ticked you off or grossed you out enough to stop doing business with them. And you most likely never said a word so the business could address the issue. You just took your business elsewhere.

This situation is NOT something that should be ignored.

 

Post # 127
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

cbgg :  This post is giving me some real insight into the younger generation. There seem to be a lot of expectations that most people my age don’t have.

Post # 128
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m just glad youre not my HR manager is all I can say. 

An HR manager asking for employee feedback advice on a wedding forum. Wow… ok

Post # 129
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Not from the US 

Post # 130
Member
1564 posts
Bumble bee

Innerdonught :  The OP, who is an HR manager, WANTS TO HELP THIS EMPLOYEE!  Do you not understand how bad table manners can affect a career? 

From your viewpoint, HR should just not say a word and then the employee gets fired for low sales. HELLO?!!!

Damn.

Post # 131
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

katebluestone :  His table manners are so bad he’s losing sales? Where did we ever hear that!? Noone had made a complaint about his eating ettiquite (such as a client) all we have to go on is her interpretation and standards. 

Where I’m from, that could result in an employment complaint against your manager. 

If she wants to help him so much and is so experienced in HR why post about it in such a way on a wedding forum with such an inflamatory pic. Damn. 

(Also, maybe I missed it but is he in sales? If he’s in the OP’s team and he is her direct report and she’s the HR manager is he not in HR too? )

Post # 133
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Ok. First off. Was this a work lunch where you saw his lack of social graces? Or was it several employees going to lunch together on their unpaid usual lunch hour? You can’t reprimand an employee for something you deem unpleasant if it didn’t happen in the work environment. 

Post # 134
Member
7910 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like the etiquette critique is on hold now. I think I would recommend an table etiquette website or youtube video to him and explain how it’s relevant to his work, but I wouldn’t cite the broccolini incident specifically. It could have just been an isolated incident with an unfamiliar food. 

Post # 135
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

craigslistgirl :  Because when a food is unfamiliar you forget how to use utensils? Lol

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