(Closed) How do I tell this girl not to match my wedding party?! Help!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I wouldn’t care what color someone wore as a guest to a wedding (unless it were white! ;), but to get into the bridal party pictures is just… off.

Post # 48
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

She has a psych issue.  You need to ensure with your photog that she is not in the pics.  Be rude if you need too, she is mentally ill.  (I mean no disrespect, by reading this thread and looking at the pic it just is what it is)

All the best and wishing you well.  M 

Post # 49
Member
1601 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You should totally just tell her the wrong colour. And wrong style. Say you’re having royal blue cocktail (example), you should tell her you’re doing burnt orange ball gowns, and let her figure out the difference 😛

Post # 50
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would definately tell her an opposite color!!! hhahhaa. who does that??

Post # 51
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MessyEssie: Show this picture to your photographer well in advance, so she knows EXACTLY how likely this girl is to do a repeat performance at your wedding.

That’s a great idea!!! Roxy, have you heard from her since the last email you told us about?

Post # 52
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would be awful and tell her the a wrong color….lol

Post # 53
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

wow that is kinda spooky because her dress looks exactly like the moh.. ppl like this shudnt be invited to weddings..

i have the feelin she will buy several dresses in several shades of blue n then change to match u  n ur girls!

Post # 54
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@roxy821:

If she is your very good friend than reply by stating that you still have not decided on a color.

Now if she is not a friend than ignore the email, if you happen to see her (physically) and she asks  “play the I didn’t get your message”  and you can do this by saying  I have been busy booking vendors, details  from my wedding that I haven’t gotten an opportunity to read my emails.

Of course she will ask you again for the color just say “I haven’t chosen the color yet they are all beautiful”

OPtion #2: INFORM THE PHOTOGRAPHER

 If she finds out through word of mouth , than inform the photographer of the number in your wedding party and how some people might crash your wedding photo sessions that way he will be alerted and kindly send her your way

OPtion #3: Inform Bridesmaid

Tell them to keep an eye out for her and if they see her kindly send her your way
 

@roxy821:

Post # 55
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Now I feel awful.  I just went to the wedding of one of my husband’s dear friends, and I honestly didn’t know what colors she was doing (their invites were cream).  I wore a tea length purple dress that my sister had as a bridesmaids dress, because I think that it’s darling.  Guess what?  The bridesmaids were in purple, albeit a different shade- I was dark purple, they were more mauvish-purple.  Still, people kept commenting that I looked just like a bridesmaid!  It was so uncomfortable.  Having this girl do it on purpose is just weird! 

Post # 56
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

@meganmp1: don’t feel awful!!!  it’s not like you wore it intentionally and tried to pretend to be a bridesmaid.  

Post # 57
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok, this girl needs a Serious Intervention! I can’t believe she went to a bridal store and bought a bridesmaid gown. I would def have a couple people at your wedding make sure she does not get in your photos. CRAZY!

Post # 58
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

meganmp1 don’t feel awful… it’s not like you popped up in every picture. 

Post # 59
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have to say this girl seems like she has serious issues, I wouldn’t be surprised if she wears blue to your wedding.   No one can innocently push themselves into someone’s wedding photos like that.  That is absolutely horrifying. Maybe it was just a thing with the other wedding and she felt like she “should” have been there, or maybe there are deeper underlying issues and she always feels that way at any wedding, and God help you if she thinks she should be in yours!

Needless to say, I wouldn’t put any bets on her getting the message from your email.  If I were you, be prepared to fend her off on the day of.  Maybe you can ask someone, a close friend that isn’t directly involved in the wedding, to keep an eye on them the day of and not let them into the photos.  I don’t know, this girl seems reallly psycho. You probably will have to tell her straight out, “Excuse me, but these pictures are for members of the wedding party only.” And definitely warn your photographer.

Seriously, I always try to see the best in people but this girl’s track record and the evidence against her does not imbue any confidence in me…..Good luck!

Post # 60
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

Wow.

I can’t believe she did that! What a weirdo! She totally looks like she is in the wedding party– Hahhhaa, superrr funny, but definitely, NOT cool though.

She was just someones date!?? Why… who… would do that? I would definitely nip that in the bud, before your wedding. Even if you have to be blunt. Don’t let her squeeze into your once in a lifetime, wedding photos! I mean, this is actually kind of funny, and… sad. But not fair to that bride, with her bridal party.. I’d actually get pretty upset about that one. That would have a been a great photo for the bride.

But, maybe, something to laugh about, a few years down the road, when flipping through the album with a friend, and a few glasses of wine.??….

Friend: “Oh lovely!  That’s a great one…. So there is you, the gorgeous bride and your MOH x, and x, and x.. oh, and who is the other bridesmaid again, I don’t remember her from college??” 

Bride: “Oh, yeah her.. well, we don’t actually know how she got in there. She just kinda plopped herself into our bridal photo. She was not a bridesmaid, or in the bridal party, at all…. Come to think of it, she was actually a complete stranger, who bought the same dress,….. intentionally… …and well, she is… unusual, I guess. I mean… wait a minute, here she is in another phot…….”

 And then a bunch of laughs for 10 minutes…

Weirdo..

Post # 61
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

This is really something that I would never believe if you didn’t include the photo. Who does that!?! I thought maybe she snuck into a few group shots of 10+ people but to actually sit in on the bridal party photo is Crazy!

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