(Closed) How do I turn off the biological clock?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 5
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Really, are you my twin? ๐Ÿ™‚ I finally sat Darling Husband down yesterday and told him I don’t want to proceed right now with our adoption plan. He was so happy and supportive and it was such a relief! Honestly for the last 18 mths we’ve been TTC with extreme difficulty and so much testing and infertility appointments, it took a huge toll on me personally and on us. I love where we are at right now and I love that we both want to travel and do things more alone together. I am just not ready to give this up. We were never travel bugs, now we are possibly booking a cruise in a few months! FWIW, after being together 5 years and married 2, we took our first vacation together in May and it really shined a light on this. I had just been thinking of the stress adoption may bring and honestly with everything we just went through, I kinda miss my husband, I miss us. Now, don’t get me wrong; I told him I feel like this somedays and then there are others where I get all teared up and want our family now. I just take it day to day. Adoption is our only way and yes i sometimes too feel the longing of a biological child, its just not in our cards. I truly feel it is our fate to adopt, I just no longer feel the pressure of time. Yes I’m 31, but I don’t feel 31. I’ll be honest, it will be a struggle and a battle on my bad days until we feel we are ready. For now we are giving ourselves short term time frames, example we will discuss in 6 mths where we are at and if we want to start or still hold off. Unti then we are going to travel, enjoy each other and live life to the fullest.

Post # 7
Member
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

A story and an idea:

Story – I got hit hard with baby angst when I turned 25.  Hard.  I couldn’t even go to park and see kids without crying.  And I wasn’t even engaged yet, much less ready to be a mom, so it sucked.  Then one day, unexpectedly, it just went away.  I still knew I wanted to have kids someday, but I also knew it just wasn’t now.  Fast forward five years.  I am married and TTC, but the extreme baby angst I felt at 25 never returned.  I am really excited to TTC, but I never got that intense biological urge again, and I am okay with that, because I like the park.  :o)  So, moral of the story – it can come and go.  In the meantime, try to focus on other things that you enjoy.

Idea – babysit.  Babysit as much as you possibly can.  That will help.

Post # 8
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Babysit is a good idea. Also, talk to moms.  I got off the baby fever a bit on the 4th of July weekend when I heard from various girls how child birth changed their lives.  E.g. never again sneeze without peeing at the same time.  Strain your relationship with Darling Husband.  Your body will never be the same again.  Not wanting sex for a very long time.

In my early 20s, I spent a week with a family friend who had a baby and a toddler.  I learned that in this phase of your life, your favorite topic of conversation will be poop and bowel movements. Not only your own baby’s but that of your friends’ babies as well. It made me not wanting kids for a very long time.

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