Post # 1
I don’t have a good relationship with my biological mother, however I want to send her a “I’m married” announcement.
I debated over the past few months whether I should send her an invite to my wedding because I didn’t want to make things awkward for myself or my foster mom. I ultimately decided I should send her a “we’re engaged” card, but in all the chaos, I completely forgot to send it. So now I’m going to send her a “I’m married” announcement. I think I’ll include a letter, but I don’t know how to word it.
How do I say “I got married but we couldn’t invite you, I had wanted to let you know I was engaged but I forgot to send you a card.”? Does this sound good (addressed to her & her 2 other kids)?:
Dear M, S & S,
I wanted to share with you that on May 22, 2010 I was married to husband’ name. We had a short, small wedding and we wish we could have invited everyone. (now at a loss for what to write…)
I know the letter sounds awful for now :P.
I don’t want this to sound like a business letter, but we’re not super close so I’m not too sure how to word it. Any suggestions?
Post # 3
Is it too late to send an engagement announcement?
If not, here is how I would continue your letter:
…That was not possible but we hope to share a little bit of our day with you through these pictures. I hope all is well with you and the family.
Post # 4
Well I think an engagement announcement would be too late because we’re already married.
Thanks babymilka74, that sounds like a good way to end it. I don’t have pictures yet, so maybe I could say pictures to follow? I’m not sure…
Post # 5
I am in the same boat … I don’t know whether or not to invite my mother (was raised in foster care and by my Aunt). We are not close at all, and she has a drug habit.
I was hoping to avoid the whole situation by just not telling her I was engaged (which was going wonderfully), but she showed up to Christmas, and the cat got let out of the bag. So, so much for the just sending her a letter afterwards plan. Now I have to decide to invite her or not (any thoughts?).
But, as for your question … if you do something like:
I hope this letter finds you well. I just wanted to share the exciting news that I have gotten married to a wonderful man named _____. It was a small and intimate ceremony, but I will send along some pictures once we get them back from the photographer.
Post # 6
I like what awakemysoul wrote. I wouldn’t put anything in the letter about why you didn’t invite her or send her an engagement announcement. A short and sweet note will be fine.
Post # 7
First off, Congratulations!
awakemysoul crafted a perfect way to let your mom know of your marriage. You could end with “, but I will send along some pictures once they become available.” This way you can send snapshorts or pictures from the photographer (which are pricey)!
Post # 8
@awakemysoul – Thank you for the letter!! I think I’ll combine yours with mine & a little of babymilka’s idea. Yay I could not think of what to say at all, so thank you!! The main reason I decided I didn’t want my bio-mom there was because she wasn’t ever there for any good moments, was emotionally abusive & manipulative & always acted like everything was fine to the public & denied what she did to me. My foster mom isn’t legally my foster mom, just someone that took me in & stepped in as my mom when I was practically homeless at 15.
My best friend also had this dilemma, she was adopted as a baby, but she had over the past few years, been in contact with her bio-mom. They don’t have any hard feelings & wanted to be involved in each others life by staying in contact, not so much spending time together thou & she invited her to the wedding. My friend let her know her foster mom was who will play the part of “mom” at her wedding. Are you close to your foster mom at all?
Do you think you would regret her not going? I don’t regret my biomom not being there at all. Do you want a relationship with your biomom in the future? I don’t see blood lines being family, yes they’re related to me biologically, however, I see family as the people who are there for me.
Don’t do it just to be nice, or so as to not offend your biomom, only invite her if you want her there. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it, or you can just reply to this post if you’d like.