(Closed) How do I word this nicely?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

You call him and say you only have room for two people, not four. The gall of some people is amazing, isn’t it? If you feel the need to further explain to this incredibly rude person why he can’t bring his mailman, the cashier at the grocery store, his second cousin once removed and his barber univited to your wedding, pass the blame off on the venue’s space limitations.

Post # 4
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Investigate who the third person is before jumping on him. For example, is he dating someone who has a kid (and the third person is the kid)? Then you can find a way to tailor your response to his circumstances.

Post # 6
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would e-mail or call and say, "Hi Friend, We got your RSVP today and were happy to see you were able to make it.  However, we noticed you put 3 guests would be coming.  When we sent your invitation, we put "Friend and Guest," singluar, because we only have space for you to bring one guest.  I really wish we were millionaires and could rent a larger hall, but since we aren’t, space is limited.  I hope you understand.  Give me a call if you want to talk about it.  Thanks, NorCalBride"

 

Use the space excuse, because if you bring up money the person might offer to pay for guest #3- and that’s not the point.

Post # 8
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

i’ve been asked about dates already and i haven’t even sent out invites!  it’s freakin annoying… i just tell them we have a rule of dates only if you’re married, livng together, dating or intended life parterns (whatever that means).  But honestly even if i was a trillionaire and had a big enough place i still wouldn’t want some random people at my wedding.  I’ll much prefer to have something small, and i don’t understand why people don’t see that it’s rude to just bring whoever the heck they want…. sorry i guess this wasn’t advice, but i needed to vent on this as well…for the both of us 🙂

Post # 9
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Yeah… a horrible situation. I would just tell them one guest and thats it, don’t feel bad its your wedding not a party for them. 

I havn’t sent my invitations yet and I’m already beginning to hate this "and guest" thing. 

 Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I think RosyChicklet is on the right track but I wouldn’t mention money ("millionaires" part) to your friend – because then he might offer to pay and that is a discussion you probably don’t want to have. I  would just let him know its 1 guest, space is limited, and you are sorry you can’t accomodate both kids.  You don’t really want to start talking costs with your guests….

Post # 11
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

This is tougher because it might damage his relationship with his kids if he chooses to bring one over the other. Then again, it might be no big deal (i.e., maybe one of the kids couldn’t care less about coming). I would let him know about the space limitations and what you’ve budgeted for (him + 1 guest). Ask him if it’s possible for him to bring only one guest. If he’s really upset or seems like he might not come at all if he can’t bring both kids (and if it’s important to you that he come), you might offer to include the second guest pending someone else’s "no" rsvp.

Post # 12
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Rancho del Cielo, Malibu, CA

I think I would try to call and just say in as nice as possible of a way that due to space constraints, you guys right now can only guarantee him and his original guest a spot, but that maybe closer to the wedding date, if you have extra seats, there’s a possibility he can bring his kids?

we had a similar situation, and at first, the person just decided they weren’t going to come.  but it wasn’t in any kind of mean way, they just had company coming in that week and didn’t feel comfortable leaving them alone.  no hard feelings. it turned out that we ended up with an extra spot, and called them back a week before the wedding to let them know, so they all came in the end.

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