(Closed) How do I word this?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

traditionally speaking, etiquette dictates that no mention of gifts or registries should be included with the invitation.  this likely extends to pleas for no gifts. 

we did register, but discouraged people from feeling obligated to give gifts (we don’t need a ton of stuff and many people are spending a lot to fly to our wedding).  

if you have a website, you could include a registry section and explain that you are having a small wedding and that you’re not registering as the gift of their time and love is enough (or some such thing).  you can also have the parents and wedding party spread the word that you are serious about no gifts.  

however you handle it (word of mouth, web, other), it is probably best to leave it off the invites – it then appears that you are presuming they will give you a gift and you are, in effect, turning it down.  not at all your sentiment, but hard to convey in just a few words.

Post # 4
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would say leave it off the invites, but otherwise a great phrase is:

Your presence, not presents is requested.  

Or you could always tell people a charity to donate to if they really want to get you something. 

Post # 5
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

Another way to word what KSW said is:

Your Presence is Present enough.

But I agree that you should leave it off the invitation and I think the Idea of a donation is WONDERFUL.

If you’re worried about how to tell ppl just spread with old fashion word of the mouth. If ppl ask you just simply tell them their presence is all you want and if the insist bring up the charity donation… ask your friends and family to say the same 🙂

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I would leave it off and if you’re asked, then you can tell people that y’all are requesting no gifts or donations to their favorite charity.

Post # 7
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I also vote for just letting people know, if you’re really requesting that they give you nothing.  Another good idea is to request something meaningful that won’t cost much.  For instance, you could have your parents let people know that you have everything you need, but would love it if they could take the time to find any photos they might have of either one of you, or to write up a favorite memory of time spent with you, or experience from their own marriage, so that it could all be put together into a nice scrap book for you.  This gives people something to do, and bring, that doesn’t cost much and yet still lets them feel they are doing something for you.

Post # 8
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

my friend wrote at the bottom of his invitation "no gifts please"

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