(Closed) How do I write a TY note when someone has died?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Address it to the husband & family. Something like: 

Dear Joe & Kids: 

My deepest condolences for the loss of Kate. She was so special to me, and I will really cherish the times we [insert memory here]. If there is anything I can do to support you or your kids in this time, please let me know. 

I also wanted to let you know how much hubs and I appreciate the thoughtful gift that you and Kate sent us for our wedding. We have used it [add stuff here]. 

Sending you love and prayers, 


Post # 4
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You’d address it to her husband.  If it’s appropriate, based on what it was, I’d say something like – every time I use/see it, it evokes such special memories of ‘Jane’ (or you and ‘jane’).  Thank you for your thoughtfulness in the midst of such a difficult time.  You and the children are in our thoughts and prayers (obviously, only if applicable).  You could always edit that to say something like:  our thoughts are with you and the kids.


Post # 5
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I like what Corgi said.

Ugh, I’m so sorry that you had someone who was diagnosed with cancer and passed away so quickly.

I wouldn’t know what to say either.

Post # 6
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh my…that is hard. I am so sorry! I do like what corgi said.

Post # 7
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow!  To be sure you need to acknowledge the death.  It hurts when people try to avoid the subject.  Corgi’s note sounds perfect!

Post # 8
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I like Corgi’s and the idea of adding what oracle said (I will think of her when using it part) if it was something physical and not a gift card or cash.

I would also choose a blank card with a non-occasion front, and not too bright. Something more traditional. You have to be able to look at the front and see it as a sympthay OR thank you card. I would feel weird if I got a card for thanks & sympathy if it was bright colored or too festive/happy on the front.

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