- 8 months ago
- Wedding: June 2019
Okay, bees, I have the opposite of a problem, but it makes me uncomfortable and no one else (aparently) so I need you guys to tell me very bluntly that I am an absolute bitch.
My fiance’s (emphasis: we are not yet married) parents are divorced, as I’ve mentioned on here before, and it was a bitter, rivalry-filled thing that continues to span into its 14th year of anger. That’s all fine and not-so-dandy, but anyway. His mother and stepfather just make me feel uncomfortable with how much money they have spent on me for Christmas ever since I started dating him. Like, even when we weren’t engaged, they made it a habit of gifting me $300 of stuff every Christmas, and it just seems like this habit hasn’t changed.
I don’t come from a family like this. I grew up with a family that always gave the kids one or two nicer things that we asked for, and that was it. But for this family, it seems like 50 small gifts are normal. not only am I overwhelmed with the actual gifts (and have no idea what to do with some of them), but I also just feel….off about it. I don’t like receiving so many gifts as if I was one of their own children.
I know it’s THEIR money and they can do with it whatever they like, but I just don’t know how to handle this situation. It’s been going on for years.
Anyway, I live 1000 miles from them, so I got my annual box-of-expensiveness yesterday. It’s an ENORMOUS box (a desktop computer came in it before it was used for this, clearly) and it was filled with the usual 50ish small things, ranging from small glass angel statues to a pajamas set (they don’t know I wear nightgowns but it’s a darn good thing they didn’t buy me a nightgown – that would be weird af) to a large stuffed dog (I’m 26 I don’t need a stuffed dog, despite it being cute as all hell).
On one hand, I appreciate the gesture so much. It must have been insane to gather all these things for me, package it up, and ship it to me, both financially and otherwise. But on the other hand, a simple card (with a gift card if you really want to give more) would just be so much more appropriate for me. They did the same type of thing for my fiance (who is in Afghanistan and had to ship it back to them because they aren’t allowed to be above a certain quota of “personal belongings” in the Army).
(On another note, they aren’t giving us a dime for the wedding.)
Do any bees have this situation too? How do you deal with it? Did things change when you were actually married?