(Closed) How Do People Do it!?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do!?
    Run away and never come back because weddings are too stressful for a pessimistic worrywart like me. : (9 votes)
    25 %
    Have the wedding at a venue I don't really like and spend much more than originally planned. : (8 votes)
    22 %
    Have the wedding in my parents yard and put them (and myself) under a lot of stress/pressure. : (16 votes)
    44 %
    Elope and regret it. : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1841 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Are there any state parks near you?  Perhaps a local park that you could use?  I wish I could offer more advice!

    Post # 4
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Since having it at your parents’ would save significant money, you could use that savings for a day of coordinator. Or- I don’t know if wedding planners offer one time sessions- might be worth a call.

    Another idea- any recently married friends who would love to help plan? If one of my friends asked for help with this, I’d be all over it. And if your date is correct, you have a lot of time for planning, so you can research cost-saving options.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I was in a similar boast when I started wedding planning in terms of money.  I thought I could host a decent wedding for 10K.  I was crushed when I started figuring in costs and realized it couldn’t be done (for the type of wedding I wanted).

    I also was trying to think outside the box with venues and finally decided the stress of coordinating all the rentals, setup, etc wasn’t worth it to me.  If you have a friend who could act as wedding coordinator and handle all those details for you, that would be ideal.  But that person should not and would not be you.  I also wouldn’t put it all on your parents (it’s a lot of work!), if you end up having it at their home (which is a lovely idea!)

    I decided I wanted my dream wedding (traditional dinner, reception/dancing) and so I ended up forking over the cash for it.  I didn’t do my dream wedding (which would have been 3x’s the cost) but I figured out what was most important to both myself and Darling Husband and then cut as many costs as I could to acheive the final product.

    Realizing that my 10K budget was not realistic was the first step of my journey.  (oh, and I pretty much freaked out about how much I was spending on a weekly, if not daily basis).

    I read this article during my wedding planning, and I found it helpful.  I hope it’s the same for you:

    http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/the-28000-question-why-are-we-all-hypocrites-about-weddings/

    ETA:  I didn’t even know my venue existed until a friend mentioned it (and I’d been dreaming of venues in my area for years!)  You may end up finding the perfect alternative venue, once you start hunting!  Or, it may become clear your parent’s place is IT!

    Post # 7
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Have a destination wedding.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If you’re looking for the very traditional, Saturday night, full dinner and bar, lots of guests, I think you’re going to have a lot of struggles (ie. stress).

    That being said, I think you could definitely plan a nice wedding for 10k but it’s going to require some compromising.  Ways you can save lots of money are having the wedding in the off season and/or off day (not Saturday).  This will make your venue cheaper and will also end up saving you with everything else, photographer, caterer, etc.  The next place to save is by cutting the guest list, this will make your food/drink cheaper, allow you a smaller venue, less rentals, less favors. Next, scale back the food.  Maybe appetizers only, no bar, or an afternoon cake and champagne reception?

    You can do it if you can compromise.  Good luck!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1186 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Your poll choices are terrible and worded very negatively.  I think you need to talk this out so you can reframe it in your mind.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The best way to cut costs is to cut the guest list.  Guests are the costliest part of the wedding budget!

    Post # 13
    Member
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My Darling Husband and I married on his parents property.  By the time we rented tents, chairs, tables, port o potties, etc, we spent as much if not more money had we just had it at another venue.  It was a ton of work and we saved zero money. 

    It is nice to look out the window of their kitchen and think “we were married there by the tree.” Do I think it was worth it?  No.

    Post # 16
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @gennalane The reality of your situation is that you want your DREAM wedding and for most people that is not going to happen on a 10K budget! I have been married for 14 years and I am only now getting my WEDDING, my first wedding my “DREAM” (i dont agree with that term) WEDDING. 14 years ago I had a marriage, and that is really what it is about at the end of the day. We went to city hall, signed the paper work and were married. Then we practiced patience untill we could afford to do things the way we wanted on our terms, and our terms alone. 

    So you have a few options but first and formost you need to realizew that this is about you spending the rest of your life with the love of your life, be joyful in that! That is what a marrage is for and what a wedding celebrates. You need to either reconcile your expectations, guest list to fit your budget or take the time to make your budget reconcile with your expectations.  That being said here is a smiggin of honesty, Marrage is not a dream, it is hard and grimy and rough but with that comes the greatest of all gifts a lifetime. A wedding celebrates that lifetime and the DREAM of the wedding can cause stress that negitivly impacts the lifetime.

    Sit with you Fiance and really discuss your priorities long and short and together come up with a solution together, becasue even if you are in city hall in jeans that is the moment you commit the rest of your life and that is all that matters.

    The topic ‘How Do People Do it!?’ is closed to new replies.

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