Post # 1
My fiance and I have decided to have a small wedding, but 100% of guests will have to travel (most are from the same state). Attendees will range in age, as will their financial resources. I have heard of couples helping their friends/family pay for accommodations and travel and we want to do the same. We decided that it was much more important to have friends/family with us than all the little details that don’t matter to us.
With that said, we won’t be hiring a photographer, no catering, very very few decorations, no new expensive dress clothes, etc.
Since we are also limited on our budget, we want to distribute our help where it is most needed. This is where I need help. I haven’t been able to find anything on the internet about subsidizing guest accommodations at weddings on a sliding scale.
Some of our friends will be able to pay without a thought as to the cost. Others would have to save up for a year in order to pay for 2 nights + airfare at our chosen place. But we don’t want to offend our poorer friends and upset other moderately to well-off friends by not helping them.
How do we approach this?
Post # 3
Personally, if I couldn’t afford to go, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with the bride and groom paying so I would prefer not to go and would probably send you a gift. I’d feel awkward talking about it.
I would tend to just send the invites and see what happens. Include a note about potential accommodation places by including cheaper accommodation hotels also.
Post # 4
Ditto to what Pia2010 wrote. Look for the local deals and hope for the best.
Plus, I would kind of feel insulted if you offered to help me financially.
Post # 5
ditto the above. if most of your guests are in the same state, won’t they be able to drive instead of flying? how far are they traveling?
if you’re so concerned about your guests’ ability to come, why didn’t you have the wedding at home?
Post # 6
People in my circle often offer 1 night covered, and the rest by the guest. Would that work?
Post # 7
@loveyes:My SO and I have been dealing with a similar situation. We live in a different city/state from our family and everyone would have to drive/fly to our wedding . We are strongly considering a destination wedding because of this. The economic status of our guests are similar but the hotels they prefer vary drastically. I have looked at securing 5 star hotels and 2 star hotels:0) We are only paying for our parents accomadations for 3 days, if they want to stay longer to vacation it will be on their own dime.
Post # 8
What about looking into a guest house you can rent (check out vrbo.com) and ask people to chip in if they can.
Post # 9
@caszos:This is a great idea. Also, consult with a travel agent that can perhaps get everyone a cheaper deal on flights.
Post # 10
First, thanks to everyone for the comments and ideas! Now, let me address each person’s comment:
@Pia2010: I definitely think some people would feel awkward about receiving this kind of “help”. That is why I think it would help to make it seem less like help, and more like “this is something we really want to do for everyone so that we can all be together”. I also looked at nearby accommodations and there aren’t really any. It’s a fairly remote location in California and every place is priced in the same range. So there aren’t many options to begin with.
@stacycats: I think there just a handful of people who would feel insulted. Otherwise, I think the majority of our guests who can pay will say so, and those who can will feel awkward, at worst. Actually, there is only 2 or 3 people I think who would actually feel insulted. But I can understand that if guests feel they should be able to handle paying certain things. It’s just that my fiance and I are really wanting everyone to share this weekend at this particular place with us.
@kitzy: We live in California. It’s a big state. Some guests would be driving 4 hours, other would be driving for 10 hours. For those not wanting to drive 10 hours, they can opt to fly, but they also have to rent a car to drive ANOTHER 3 hours. There’s no airport near our desired wedding location. Also, both of our homes are too small for a wedding.
@retreadbride: I love your idea…thanks!
@Soladylike: Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to know that other people are going through a similar situation.
@caszos: I will look into renting a vacation home on craigslist or something. Thanks for the idea!
Also, in case other people are in a similar situation, a poster in another thread suggested renting a couple of rooms for the sole purpose of those who need help with accommodations. I think this is a wonderful idea.