(Closed) how do we honour his father without offending his entire family|?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

@LauraBenbow71: I like the roses idea. Also, look into bouquet charms, it’s a discreet way to honour those who were important to you as a couple. I know I’m planning on having one for my grandfather and one for my grandmother, both of whom passed away.

Post # 4
15015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If that is all you wanted to do, I dont see why you couldnt answer honestly if asked about it.  It would totally take away from it if you lied about it imo.  I was thinking you wanted to put mention of him in the programs or a empty seat or rememberance table at the reception.  If it is something as simple and discrete as the roses, and people cant deal with that… I dont know, I dont know how anyone would have a problem with that!

Post # 5
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

we are honoring our family members that have passed by putting their names in the program. Im also having small charms made with their pictures in the charms which will be sewn into my bouquet. So no one besides me will really be able to see the charms. No one has a problem with anyone we’re honoring, but if you wanted to do it kind of discreetly you could use the charm idea maybe. It would be kind of private just for you.

Post # 6
3942 posts
Honey bee

I think the roses are a nice idea. Or you could also have a flower and/or candle at either the church or reception, with a note that the flowers are in honor of those who could not be here today.

Post # 8
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The roses are a pretty subdued way to honor a memory.  His family should be able to accept this rememberance, as it won’t actually be broadcast to all in attendance.  You know you Future In-Laws – whether or not you and Fiance tell them of your plan in advance depends on the reaction the two of you anticipate.

In addition he may wish to carry a photo of his father – in his pocket, or incorporated into his apparel, and you may wish to carry one of your grandmother – as a charm on your bouquet, or sewn into the lining of your dress.  Those photos can be completely private, even your mothers’ don’t need to know about them, if you wish to keep them under wraps for one reason or another. (I’ll be keeping the photo of my grandfather out of sight because his passing is recent, and I don’t want to distress my grandmother.)

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