Post # 1
My SO and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years and have come to the conclusion that we want to get married. It was a slow process for him since he had a lot of past hurts from previous relationships. Although he hasn’t popped the question he is FINALLY looking at rings and talking about getting a house together. However, here’s where it gets complicated. I own a house in town with my three children and he also owns a house out in the country where his three kids stay with him on weekends and such. He pretty much already lives with us 90% of the time but still goes home to take care of the animals, etc. My house is right around the corner from his ex so his kids come over for supper with us when they get the chance. He’s wanting us to look for a house that we all can fit in and that none of the kids feel like they’re visitors in. That means a mansion according to him and both of us want in the country. I’m a firm believer in siblings sharing rooms to save money though. Either way, how do we get from owning two separate houses to buying one for our new blended family? How do we approach the kids with the idea that they may not all gets their own rooms this time. I think he’s afraid his kids won’t want to come stay as much if they don’t. Sorry for the long post…
Post # 2
How old are all of these children? What gender?
Post # 3
Hmmm That’s hard. If his kids are not used to sharing rooms, it may be hard to make them. If he’s worried they won’t want to come over as much, that’s a valid concern and he should share that with his ex-wife so that she can support you guys through the process of getting the kids adjusted.
If your kids are cool with it then let them share. However, it may end up causing some issues down the road if they change their minds.
I just don’t know how I’d find or afford a 7 bedroom home lol
Post # 4
Mine are two boys 18 & 15 (willing to share a room) and my daughter is 9. His girls are 14 & 16 and his son is 11. All the kids get along well with each other and with us but his kids are a bit more accustomed to being spoiled as to where mine are used to living on a tight budget which means improvising. I just feel like he’s not able to move forward and propose until we can figure out where we’re all going to live.
Post # 5
the real kicker is we both have houses with five bedrooms but neither would work for our situation as a blended family.
Post # 6
Your kids are the ones living there full time and they’re ok with sharing rooms. That’s great! If I’m understanding your post correctly, his kids only stay on weekends. They’re all old enough that they can be talked to about sharing rooms on the weekend. Even if they were to stay with y’all more often, they are all old enough to not throw a fit over this. I had to share a room with my two step sisters on weekends starting at age 7 and I was old enough to understand that we didn’t have enough rooms for everyone to have their own. You and your BF are the adults, the two of you get to make this decision.
Also, something to consider, you have an 18 year old that could move out at any time, a 15 and 16 year old that could be moving out anytime after the next 2-3 years. So then you would be left with 3 kids for any type of long term. A massive house is great when you have a ton of kids that will be with you for the next 10 years, but that’s not your situation. After all the kids move out except the youngest, will y’all want to downsize? That large of a house has higher maintenance costs associated with it. Obviously y’alls finances are y’alls business, but trying to get them all their own room doesn’t sound like a sound financial decision (this is coming from someone who is a financial consultant part time).