- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
My mom is graciously footing the bill for our entire wedding, and FI’s parents have given us an engagement party, and are paying for a nice rehearsal dinner and our honeymoon. However, none of them are willing to pay for the bar at our after party. Our wedding reception (brunch) will be dry and we are having a second party in the evening for our friends who like to celebrate with drinking and dancing. Since we aren’t providing alcohol in the morning, I feel like a cash bar at our after party would be tacky, but we are going to try to compromise by only hosting beer and wine. Still, Fiance and I are both broke and are unsure of how to pay for this ourselves.
According to this calculator: http://www.evite.com/pages/party/drink-calculator.jsp’ defer=’defer, we will need to plan for about 120 beers and 25 bottles of wine for our 3 1/2 hour after party. We’re expecting 75-100 guests and they are light to moderate drinkers. A handful will not drink at all.
Our venue charges $4 per pint glass of beer and $30 per bottle of wine (or $6 per glass of wine). Using the above calculator’s estimates, that is $1230!! That is more than twice what we can afford to pay.
We can bring in our own wine, but we have to pay a $15 corkage fee on each bottle, and I don’t think we can find good wine for under $15 a bottle, so bringing our own wouldn’t make much of a difference.
Fiance says we can just have all cash, but I find that stingy. Our guests should be able to have a drink or two on us after coming all that way, especially since many of them are young people on budgets just like us. We thought about doing just an hour of drinks and then cash, but I think if people know that they will just drink more during that hour which kind of defeats the purpose.
An idea I had that would be a sort of last resort – and not something I really want to do AT ALL – is pay for half their drinks, so they can better afford a cash bar. So beers would be $2 and wine would be $3, and we would pay what’s left over. It would still be about $600 but we could come up with that much more easily. And it IS an after party so I think its a little less tacky.
If we are going to pay for this bar tab in full ourselves, we would have to either go into debt or dip into our savings. Fiance is 100% unwilling to do either. I offered to pay for it myself (with debt) but he basically used my own words against me, telling me, “You always say that once we’re married its not “mine” or “yours” so it would be just you paying for it.” Grr, I hate when he does that!
So. Tell me what to do. And I’m not above taking donations