(Closed) How do we stop his ex-girlfriend from coming to family functions?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 33
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’ve had some great feedback/advice.  I’d love to offer you a bit of a different perspective.  I am by no means an crazy ex like this awful person and this story is several years old, but it might help. 

After an ex and I broke up, his family continued to talk to me frequently.  They continued to invite me to things (including Christmas Eve!!) even after the ex started seeing someone else.  They would confide in me how much they “hated” her, how they just “knew” he was going to “see the light” evenutally.  At the time, I enjoyed staying in contact with his family and seriously thought we might actually get back together! 

Finally, things changed.  We stopped all contact.  I mean everything.  No email, no facebook, no hello in the grocery store.  Turns out, both of us just sort of felt compelled to be nice, even when people had told both of us that the continued relationship was inappropriate.  Finally his mom told me that her son (my ex) basically threatened her (not physically obviously) and she had to stop all contact.  I have never heard from her again and she has not heard from me.

Sometimes SOMEONE just has to step up and make it ABUNDANTLY clear.  Then follow through.  The problem here, in my opinion, lies with the family.  This girl keeps reappearing because there has always been someone at these events she shows up to that is nice to her.  I guarantee that if she had shown up to that funeral and your fiance AND his entire family told her to leave and that she was unwelcome, she would have been gone permanently.  Talk to your fiance and tell him that he needs to have a talk with his family and instruct them not to smile, say “hi”, or even look at her ever again in the future and make it clear that ALL contact is unwelcome.  OR ELSE.  Then, tell the family they have to follow through.  Be extreme and tell your fiance’s family that this is a source of contention in your marriage and make them feel guilty! 🙂

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