(Closed) HOW DO YOU…

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My answer is simple. Keep up the sex life. 😉

Post # 4
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Make sure you take the time to re-connect each night, and I don’t mean just sex; but take at least 15 mins to cuddle together, talk, kiss, and just have a little bit of a romantic moment every night.

Post # 5
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just remain intimate and communicate. Try to have dinner together at the table whenever you can and catch up on your day. You are best friends that are living together so yes in some way you are roomates.

Post # 6
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Intimate Personal Meaningful Connections…

Agree with the others… Smile – Laugh – Sing – Hug – Kiss – Greet each other at the Door – have Dinner together – Snuggle – Cuddle – Dance – Talk – Cry – Tickle – Laugh some more

And oh ya, Sex…

Lol, but as good as the Sex is it is the other stuff that will get your relationship thru the FIRST 50 (or 75) YEARS

 

Post # 7
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I got this advicedrink a guy going through an amicable divorce–they grew apart. Have something you do together for fun. It can be as simple as watching a tv show together every week, but doing something enjoyable together on a regular basis is key. 

Post # 9
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

a healthy sex life and lot of intimacy (not just sex) my husband and i try to text each other every day at least 1 thing we love/miss/want to do to eachother.

Post # 11
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just because you live together doesn’t mean the romance and dates stop. It’s so important to keep your relationship alive and fun!

Post # 12
Member
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@hecallsmelove:  Wow! You’re going into a very similar situation to what I did — marrying a man who has children living with him (my stepchildren only live with us 50 percent of the time, however), and waiting until you are married to have sex and begin living together. 

(We also faced some additional challenges that may not apply to your situation, however:  We had an LDR for our entire dating relationship/engagement and only saw each other a few days each month, and for the first ten months after we were married, I was only able to live with Darling Husband and the kids for long weekends/partial weeks, since I had to keep my job in another state for most of the work week until my house sold and I could resign my job and relocate to his area full-time. I teleworked from DH’s house on the workdays I was there. Also, my Darling Husband is a pastor and works nearly every weekend and usually works parts of all seven days each week.)

I have to tell you that, if your situation is anything like mine, it may not be easy for you at first. I believe that every bride truly wants to be able to enjoy that very special, newlywed experience, where it is “just us” and everything is so wonderful and romantic. Unfortunately for us (and many others who have children/stepchildren/LDRs/career demands, etc.), we really did not get to have anything like that type of experience.  I honestly felt as if I had gone from single, virgin, blushing bride — SO excited for having that newlywed experience — to married, middle-aged housewife in the blink of an eye.

To be honest, I was quite upset and frustrated that Darling Husband and I did not get much time at all alone together, particularly early on (it was summer, and the kids weren’t in school, so we often had them during the day on a couple of their moms’ custody days each week as well,  until she was finished with her job and was able to pick them up), and, when we did have alone time, one or both of us was totally exhausted from all of the other demands of our everyday lives and/or had to get up quite early the next day.

I had a very hard time adjusting to the fact that the original “payoff” I was expecting as a newlywed (romance, time alone together) really never materialized in the way I had envisioned it.  The kids stayed up late into the evening during the summer, as was their habit.  Darling Husband and I had completely different bio-rhythms — he’s a total night owl, and I’m a morning person. Between his work demands and mine, and the kids’ activities and schedules, etc. it was not at all easy to merge our lives together.

The good news is that we have now been married for slightly more than three years, and I have been here full time for more than two years. I also have not been able to find a job in my field in my new region (it’s a very rural area, and I had a corporate-headquarters type of work function), so, we have subsequently had a lot more opportunity to be together, and we’ve also learned — some on our own, and some through counseling — how to find truly special and meaningful ways to make each other and our relationship much more of a priority. 

You may have a lot of adjusting to do, but as long as you and your Darling Husband are committed to each other and your marriage, you should be fine.  By the way, if you ever want to PM me, please do not hesitate to do so! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Everynight we make sure we take our “us” time. Even if the whole evening we have been doing our own thing before bed we watch one tv show and cuddle on the couch.

Post # 14
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ii’m a super newly wed, but being together for 8 years we’re doing something right. We keep it affectionate. Sex included, but not the only focus. We’re just playful. We eat dinner together, clean up together and we try to have fun with it. 

We also have a nighttime routine and we try to go to bed together each night.

Post # 16
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We cuddle on the couch every night, we have tickle battles, we drop everything that we are doing when the other person gets home just to hug and kiss hello, we eat dinner together every night, we do chores together, etc. Our connection is very strong, but as some PPs have described, there’s not a whole lot of romance when you have kids to attend to, jobs to work, a house to care for, pets to deal with, etc. I had my share of torrid romance relationships prior to Mr. LK, and they aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. I’ll take the intimacy of sharing my life and raising DS with Mr. LK over “romance” any day of the week.

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