(Closed) How do you address a envelope when a couple have different last names??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My 1800 registry wedding planner says Mrs._____ & Mr._____ is the way to do it! wife goes first!

Post # 4
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve read various ways. Listing the one you’re closest to first or just going alphabetically. But Mr. Matthews & Mrs. Lawrence is what I’d go with since generally the Mr. goes before the Mrs. once the couple is married.

ETA- I just noticed that most guides I find say that if a woman is keeping her maiden name socially and professionally, then she stays a Ms. and her name will go first. Hmm. Seems I’m not much help to you!

Post # 5
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

Ladies before gentlmen.  πŸ™‚

Mrs. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Doe

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Mrs. Sarah Smith and Mr. John Doe

i kept my surname, its Ms Smith as im not a Mrs hisname

Post # 7
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Traditionally, it is Ms. Marie Smith and Mr. John Ganz.  The “and” indicates they are married.  If they were not, it would be Ms. Marie Smith on one line, Mr. John Ganz on the next, with no “and” between them.

Post # 8
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Uh…you address it to “Mr. Hislastname & Mrs. (or Ms. if she prefers) Herlastname”. You can include first names if you want (and you can scrap the Mr./Mrs. titles), and most people that I know of put it in alphabetical order to avoid seeming sexist.

Post # 9
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

This is so interesting.  I think I have double check my spreadsheets myself to make sure I didn’t this properly for one of my bridesmaids.  If she would just finish her thesis, I could call her a doctor and eliminate the issue.  πŸ˜‰

 

I have an aunt who thinks we should do away with Mrs. completely and call everyone Ms.  You all should have seen my mother’s face when she said that.  Hee hee!

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

You all should have seen my mother’s face when she said that

you should have seen my mothers face when i told her i wasnt going to change my name – i still dont understand her reaction to be honest

Post # 11
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ok, so I know this isn’t a “helpful” answer per se, but when I’m addressing casual mail (usually a thank you card or something like that) to friends who live together but aren’t married, I combine their last names like they’re celebrities, hahaha.  Like, Jane Williams and Joe Campbell become “The Willibells” or “The Willibell Family” hehehe.

I know you’re asking for real answers on more formal invitations, but I just wanted to share that! πŸ˜›

ETA: For a formal invite, I’d address it to Mr. HisFirst HisLast and Miss/Ms. HerFirst HerLast

Post # 12
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Since i don’t plan on taking his last name, if it were me, I’d like to it to be “Ms. Herfirstname Herlastname and Mr. Hisfirstname Hislastname”  

Post # 13
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@indibee:

I immediately thought of Boy Meets World when I saw your example names…

OP I have always heard it’s Ms. Her Name & Mr. His Name… Ladies first πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We actually did a poll of our potential guests.  Every woman who kept her own surname on marriage preferred Ms. to Mrs.

And for the record, the whole idea of Ms. was to have one title that worked for both married and unmarried women–like Mr. for men. So mink‘s aunt had it exactly right.

Post # 15
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsWrangler: Haha, busted. I loved that show forever.

OP- I’ve decided I’m in the Ms. Hers & Mr. His camp. Same line + the ‘and/&’ show that they’re married. Final answer πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

@eloping: Oh my gosh, I haven’t told my mother yet myself.  I’m in academia and many of my colleagues kept their names since they were published under their maiden names.

πŸ™‚

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