(Closed) How do you address an invitation to…………

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@MrsNeutrino:

1. (Rank fully written out) + His Name & Mrs. Her Name
     Example:  Seaman John Smith and Mrs. Mary Smith

Is anyone coming to your wedding that’s Navy enlisted?  Because E4-E6 are Petty Officer, but they go by their rating (job), so it’s a little confusing.  So, a PO 3rd class might be ET3 John Smith, or MM3, etc.  But you would address it to “Petty Officer (Whatever Number) Class John Smith”.

Some etiquette sources say that enlisted do not get the rank listed before their name, just their branch of service underneath.  However, if you’re inviting someone like a Chief or Sargeant Major, I sure would cause that’s pretty high up.  I honestly would either way, though, and it’s not incorrect to include it per this website.

2. Do the brother and sister live in the same house?  If so, I always was told to send separate invitations addressed separately, at least that’s how we did it.  So, I’m not sure!

3.  For boyfriend/girlfriend, we sent it to the couple putting his name first, but sent it to her address, unless they live together, then it doesn’t really matter. πŸ™‚

4.  For 2 sisters, still separate wedding invitations unless one sister is very young and could be considered to live in her sister’s household.  In that case, I would send 1 invitation, but write their names:  Maggie Jones and Sallie Jones on one invite.

If, however, they’re both adults, and/or you are friends with them separately, I would send 2 invitations just like the brother/sister.

Post # 4
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Oh!  And, also, NEVER address an invitation to an enlisted servicemember as Mr./Mrs./Ms. etc.  I know some etiquette sources say you can, but I know it’s considered offensive to most (if not all) enlisted personnel because they technically are not a Mr/Mrs anymore. My sister ran into that with her husband, and not that they made a stink over it, but it is kind of offensive to not acknowledge their changed title in some way.

If you don’t include their ranks, don’t put Mr.!  It would read His Name + Mrs. Her Name, then put his branch of service on the line below.

Ex.

John Smith + Mrs. Mary Smith
United States Air Force

Post # 8
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MrsNeutrino: I was lectured by Mother-In-Law (army brat, married to a lt col… so really into this) that you never, ever separate a person’s name from their rank. So the proper thing to do would be:

Colonel James Miller and Mrs Joyce Miller

 

When we were dealing with this (like what to do when you invite an active general and her retired colonel husband and their children?) we used the etiquette school of washington’s site.

Post # 10
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@MrsNeutrino: Got ya.  Yeah, that would be weird to have the enlisted beside but the junior officer’s not.  I don’t really know for sure, to be honest, but I think what you have will be fine.

For the enlisted married, I would do:

Jorge Paz and Mrs. Her Name Paz
United States Navy

For enlisted single, I would do:

Jorge Paz
United States Navy

It’s still acknowledging that he is in the Navy, and since you don’t know his rank anyway, it works out.  And honestly, with the Mr thing, it’s not like you’re going to offend them deeply or anything haha! 

Oh, and about the Mr. thing… it’s just one of those things that a lot of enlisted guys dislike, especially if they’re higher up, like a Chief or Senior Chief.  Those guys are close to the top of the enlisted order.  But, since these guys are lower, it’s not as big of a deal.  They won’t have been in as long, and likely won’t be offended at all. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@MrsNeutrino: Oh, and I *think*, but am not sure, that the etiquette about name vs rank first varies across branches.  I am fairly sure that in the Navy it’s usually always rank first, no matter what it is.  However, I think it’s a good call that you’re not doing that for enlisted since the jr officers won’t have it before their names.  It totally makes sense!

Why can’t everything just be easy with military etiquette?? πŸ˜‰

Post # 12
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I did just double check with my Seaman hubs, and he said it’s fine to put USN under the name, and omit the Mr.  He also said you can keep it cause military or not, they’re still guys and probably won’t know what’s right or not either. πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@MrsNeutrino: Sure!!  I wish I could get more definitive answers for you, but I haven’t been a Navy wife too terribly long anyway, and I am just going off of what I learned for fun when Darling Husband was in bootcamp.  I love etiquette in general, but military etiquette is a whole other world!

However, this is one thing I didn’t want to deal with at our wedding, so I told Darling Husband we HAD to get married before he went into the Navy!! πŸ˜‰

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