Post # 17
I can’t even think of calling them Mom and Dad because they aren’t the parents who raised me. FI’s mom died when he was 13 and his dad remarried a few years later. I call his step-mom by her first name because that’s what Fiance calls her. I can’t bring myself to call FI’s dad anything though, it feels too weird haha, hopefully that will change soon (:
Post # 18
Future Mother-In-Law: Auntie
Future Father-In-Law: Nothing. If I cant speak directly to his face, I just dont speak haha.
Post # 19
My FI’s mom asked me to call her by her first name. FI’s dad is completely against that and wants me to continue calling him Mr. S. He thinks calling them by their first names is disrespectful, while she thinks he’s nuts to want me to call him Mr. So it’s a bit awkward with her insisting her first name and him insisting on Mr. I just try to avoid calling them anything. =P
Post # 20
@Aubergold: haha exactly, that’s basically my approach to Future Father-In-Law also! (:
Post # 22
I absolutely adore my Mother-In-Law, but I could never call her mom. I already have a mom, so that just feels weird to me. I call her by her first name instead.
Post # 23
My Future Mother-In-Law is super (I’ve said this quite a bit before). I used to call her Mrs. and then there was a short point when I wasn’t quite sure what to call her so I just referred to her as FI’s mom and I just faced her when I wanted to talk directly to her (I know, terrible). But, about six months I started calling her mom. I do have a fantastic mom of my own, but I don’t think it changes anything for me. When we’re in the presences of my mom and his mom I guess I’ll only call my mom “mom.” I haven’t really thought that far in advance. Fiance spends a lot of time with me visiting my grandmother, but as far as we’re all concerned, she’s his grandma now too.
Post # 24
Haha, I just read some of the posts before mine, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t know what to call their FMIL/FFIL.
Post # 25
@BanditGirl: That is incredibly sweet!! What a wonderful example they set!
Mostly first names for me, but sometimes I indirectly refer to them as Mom & Dad. For example, when I wrote them a Christmas card from us, it was addressed to “Mom & Dad,” and even though Fiance signed it with me, it was me who wrote it.
Post # 26
I pretty much avoid calling them anything, but first names if I’m forced to address them.
They signed the card to us Mom and Dad Smith, so hopefully that wasn’t a hint that they would like to be called mom and dad, because I don’t think I’d ever be into that.
Post # 27
sadly, i fall under one of the people who call them nothing. It’s awful and I hate that I do it. But I feel very strange about calling them by their first names. Whenever I see them I just talk to them and say “Hi!” without a name! It’s awful!
Post # 28
I wondered this myself what my FH or I would call them. My bio dad and my dad (actually step) called my grandma mom. I think its a sign of respect and not disrespect to my parents to call other people mom and dad and I would like to, but I dont want to start doing it unprovoked. I suspect it may be a thing of the past and fewer and fewer people will refer to inlaws that way.
Post # 29
LOL, I’m glad there’s an avoidance option and I’m not the only one who picked it. I just admitted to DH couple weeks ago that I don’t know what to call his mom so I don’t call her anything. “Mom” feels too weird (even though she’s a total sweetheart), and in my culture we don’t call the older generation by their first names, so I’m at a loss. I think she didn’t know what to call herself either. She bought me two gifts for Xmas, one from “Mom” and one from “Jenny” 🙂
Post # 30
NotFroofy is not in contact with her family, so the issue hasn’t come up in my current marriage. In my first marriage, I started out calling my in-laws by their first names. Then the first grandchild came up with mispronunciations of “grandma” and “grandpa.” Gradually, everyone started using those names for them.
Post # 31
I try to avoid addressing them directly it has been confusing as to what I am supposed to call them. Half the time his mom ends messages to me as “mom” and the other half of the time by her name. Since we aren’t married yet I feel uncomfortable asking, I figure I’ll bring it up after the wedding. I don’t usually have to address them much so its not to hard. If I have to refer about one to the other I use my Fiance in the sentence as in “Where should I put the present for Jon’s gram” or “Jon said you and his dad were thinking about…”