(Closed) How do you address your in-laws? (mom, dad, mr., mrs., first names?)

posted 11 years ago in Family
  • poll: How do you address your in-laws

    Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so

    First names

    Mom & Dad

    Hey you (avoidance!)

  • Post # 17
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I can’t even think of calling them Mom and Dad because they aren’t the parents who raised me. FI’s mom died when he was 13 and his dad remarried a few years later. I call his step-mom by her first name because that’s what Fiance calls her. I can’t bring myself to call FI’s dad anything though, it feels too weird haha, hopefully that will change soon (:

    Post # 18
    Member
    869 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Future Mother-In-Law: Auntie

    Future Father-In-Law:  Nothing.  If I cant speak directly to his face, I just dont speak haha.

    Post # 19
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My FI’s mom asked me to call her by her first name.  FI’s dad is completely against that and wants me to continue calling him Mr. S.  He thinks calling them by their first names is disrespectful, while she thinks he’s nuts to want me to call him Mr.  So it’s a bit awkward with her insisting her first name and him insisting on Mr.  I just try to avoid calling them anything. =P

    Post # 20
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @Aubergold: haha exactly, that’s basically my approach to Future Father-In-Law also! (:

    Post # 21
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Mama and Papa!

    Post # 22
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I absolutely adore my Mother-In-Law, but I could never call her mom. I already have a mom, so that just feels weird to me. I call her by her first name instead.

    Post # 23
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My Future Mother-In-Law is super (I’ve said this quite a bit before). I used to call her Mrs. and then there was a short point when I wasn’t quite sure what to call her so I just referred to her as FI’s mom and I just faced her when I wanted to talk directly to her (I know, terrible). But, about six months I started calling her mom. I do have a fantastic mom of my own, but I don’t think it changes anything for me. When we’re in the presences of my mom and his mom I guess I’ll only call my mom “mom.” I haven’t really thought that far in advance. Fiance spends a lot of time with me visiting my grandmother, but as far as we’re all concerned, she’s his grandma now too.

    Post # 24
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Haha, I just read some of the posts before mine, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t know what to call their FMIL/FFIL.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @BanditGirl: That is incredibly sweet!! What a wonderful example they set!

     

    Mostly first names for me, but sometimes I indirectly refer to them as Mom & Dad. For example, when I wrote them a Christmas card from us, it was addressed to “Mom & Dad,” and even though Fiance signed it with me, it was me who wrote it.

    Post # 26
    Member
    5592 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I pretty much avoid calling them anything, but first names if I’m forced to address them. 

    They signed the card to us Mom and Dad Smith, so hopefully that wasn’t a hint that they would like to be called mom and dad, because I don’t think I’d ever be into that.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    sadly, i fall under one of the people who call them nothing. It’s awful and I hate that I do it. But I feel very strange about calling them by their first names. Whenever I see them I just talk to them and say “Hi!” without a name! It’s awful!

    Post # 28
    Member
    2570 posts
    Sugar bee

    I wondered this myself what my FH or I would call them.  My bio dad and my dad (actually step) called my grandma mom.  I think its a sign of respect and not disrespect to my parents to call other people mom and dad and I would like to, but I dont want to start doing it unprovoked. I suspect it may be a thing of the past and fewer and fewer people will refer to inlaws that way.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2042 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    LOL, I’m glad there’s an avoidance option and I’m not the only one who picked it. I just admitted to DH couple weeks ago that I don’t know what to call his mom so I don’t call her anything. “Mom” feels too weird (even though she’s a total sweetheart), and in my culture we don’t call the older generation by their first names, so I’m at a loss. I think she didn’t know what to call herself either. She bought me two gifts for Xmas, one from “Mom” and one from “Jenny” 🙂

    Post # 30
    Member
    2297 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    NotFroofy is not in contact with her family, so the issue hasn’t come up in my current marriage.  In my first marriage, I started out calling my in-laws by their first names.  Then the first grandchild came up with mispronunciations of “grandma” and “grandpa.”  Gradually, everyone started using those names for them.

    Post # 31
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I try to avoid addressing them directly it has been confusing as to what I am supposed to call them.  Half the time his mom ends messages to me as “mom” and the other half of the time by her name.  Since we aren’t married yet I feel uncomfortable asking, I figure I’ll bring it up after the wedding.  I don’t usually have to address them much so its not to hard.  If I have to refer about one to the other I use my Fiance in the sentence as in “Where should I put the present for Jon’s gram” or “Jon said you and his dad were thinking about…”

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