Post # 1
My Fiance and I are having a little trouble handling our finances. I’m the type of person who would give my last cent to someone if they needed it and/or if I could last to the next paycheck without it. My Fiance however, is pretty strict with his money and is very hestitant to combine finances. Don’t get me wrong, he has helped me when I needed it, but he also doesn’t let me forget it. If I owe him money, it’s a big deal. If it’s flipped around, not so much. He tries everything possible to convince me he doesn’t owe as much as I tell him he does at which point I have to prove to him that he does by detailing exactly what I gave him. (He always pays me back the full amount but not without the Are you sure? bits). The sad part is, he’s the one who comes from the wealthier family and although we’re both still in college and work together, he’s able to work more hours which means he makes more than me. The money issue has caused it’s fair share of arguments between us.
Anyways, today I finally convinced him to open a joint account this weekend with a % of each of our paychecks that we’ll use to pay for bills, groceries, etc. while we keep our current personal accounts for our own personal spending. I think it’s very fair and since we aren’t getting married until November, it gives a chance to test drive combining finances. Is this a good idea? How have you handled your finances with your fiance?
Post # 3
That’s exactly how we handle it. We each have our own accounts and deposit part of our paycheck into a joint account for rent, groceries, weekends away, anything we do together. We both are pretty lacksidasical (woah, spelling?) about who owes what and we’ve never worried about who owes more or whatever. We don’t have big expenses yet though. I’m sure once we have mortgages, kids, etc. We’ll have to pay more attention to what money we spend where but this is good to get us used to sharing expenses until then.
Post # 4
I’d be a crabby girl if my fiance ragged on me for oweing him money. Fiance and I haven’t combined accounts or even talked about it. He makes WAY more money than I and pretty much supports me. I pay my car payment, ins, our combined phone bill, and credit cards. He pays everything else. Occasionally, if I have enough money I will pay the cable bill or the water bill. I also keep one of his debit cards in my purse or one of his check books. I am a lucky lucky girl!
We do have a bit of combined debt though. We are actually starting the Dave Ramsey; Finacial Peace program. I’m really excited about it and I think it will change our current money system.
Post # 5
Currently we don’t live together, so we have separate accounts. When we get married we plan on opening a joint account, but keeping separate accounts as well. We will deposit all money into the joint account and then a small (equal) percentage will be put in our separate accounts for "spending" money. All of the bills will be paid from the joint account. That way its "our money" paying for the necessities, not "his" or "mine"
Post # 6
It’s funny, I was just having this talk with my friend and her colleagues the other day. They were saying how they really prefer a shared acct. for bills, etc. And they were commenting on how to classify items as "shared" items or "personal" items. This conversation just makes my eyes cross. I don’t think that money should be an issue in a relationship. That each person earns what they earn and pays for what they CAN pay for. It so happens that my FI earns more than me and so he pays for more stuff than me. I’ve got my own bills like student loans that he never pays a penny for, and I think that this is fair. We never keep tabs of who owes how much to the other. In fact, I encourage him to help himself to my cash whenever he wants and not to pay me back bc I know that he does pay for so many of the larger expenses. I don’t think in terms of "my" money, but "our" money bc we are in a serious relationship and have bought a flat together, furnished the house, etc. and plan on spending our life together.
Post # 7
This is a touchy subject and something you NEED to sort out before you get married. A lot of people have issues with finances and it can break up marriages if you don’t see eye to eye on how things should be done.
My husband and I lived together for about 6 months before we got married. At this time we opened up a joint account and a joint credit card. All of our income goes into the joint account and all of our bills get paid out of that. We each transfer a set amount out of the joint account at the begining of the month for our own personal expenses (for me – clothing, lunches/dinners out with friends, make-up, etc!) everything else comes out of our joint account. As a married couple there is no my money and his money it’s all our money.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
Besides the fact that I make more $$ than the hubby, he also has to pay child support, so a third of his pay check is gone before he even sees it. He is also horrible at money management.
That being said, we both have our own seperate accounts. We have a joint account also, where his paycheck is direct deposited into. I pretty much pay all of the house bills with my paycheck (mortage, electric, gas, water, etc), and we use his paycheck for groceries and "fun" stuff. I also pay his bills with his paycheck (his student loans and such). Now with the wedding done an over with, we are both going to contribute to our joint savings account for future events (new house or baby).
Post # 9
Right now we keep our accounts separate. We alternate paying the rent and split some of the other bills. It’s not exactly even, but it seems pretty fair. I would like to get a joint account soon (we marry in 9 weeks) but we’re still working on the details of how that would work. He’s in finance, so he’ll probably make it more complicated than I would prefer.
Post # 10
We have our separate accounts for personal use (I have never believed in 100% pooling your money together) and having a joint account to do "joint" things with, like bills, outings, vacations, etc. But this way I have my money for shopping, he has his for whatever, and we can buy each other presents without it being a surprise, and since we make approximately the same amount of money, it’s not really an issue. I’ve known too many people who pool it all together, and then one person plans on leaving the other, takes all the money, and then that’s it because you legally have no rights to get it back. Sooooo, I like my own personal fund. Plus i have a jewelery obsession =]
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2020 - Oakland Manor
We’re not able to have a joint account because of us/uk stuff, but once we’re able to thats what we plan on doing. Neither of us is picky about who pays for what, we just always say "what’s mine is yours". Since he’s has a job at the moment and I don’t he pays for most things and I focus on paying my credit card/ student loans/health insurance.
We just sat down last night and tracked all the purchases so far for the month of March and it was pretty scary but neccessary. Neither of us has been great about budgeting but now we need to start saving for our combined goals (paying for visas etc). I’ve heard alot of Dave Ramsey praise, I’ll have to check him out!
Post # 12
I too fall in the category of sep and joint accounts… we each have our own accounts and then we just opened a joint account when we started planning for the wedding to pay for those things.. I have full access to my accounts and our joint account so I tend to flip flop $$ around depending on where its needed, if I have some extra I will just transfer it into our joint account.. he on the other hand keeps what he needs to pay for bills, etc. and deposits the remaining into the joint. Its what works for us .. I do have to say I am one that doesnt like the idea of only having a joint account.
Post # 13
We have a joint account. I turn all my money over to him in a sense! HAHA. He is better with money. But we both sit down and work out the bill and what we are spending. We learned early on that we both had strong and weak points when dealing with money. So when we combined them it works out well.
I think that this has helped us so much. Because we have had to work through the money fights. So when being married comes around there is no change.
Post # 14
Right now we have separate accounts for everything but the wedding. We split the rent and the utilities and we buy our own groceries (but make sure we split the stuff for our dinners). However, once the wedding rolls around we have plans to add his name to the wedding account (currently it’s in my name because I opened it while he was in class on a Saturday) and share our finances.
As other posters have said, and I’m sure you know, money is definitely something you want to talk about before the wedding. Figure out where your comfort levels are and what you’ll do as far as accounts, bills, etc go. Good luck!
Post # 15
Miss Golden – you defintely need to sit with your FH and come up with a clear financial plan for when you are married. Both of you need to decide if you want seperate accounts, one joint or all joint. I am surprised he still feels you two "owe" each other money. Does he plan on keeping that sentiment after you are married? If so, it doesn’t sound like you are OK with that.
There are a lot of threads on Weddingbee about this subject so spend some time searching around to see many many opinions. I think it’s great you posted this and that you are thinking about it.
and for another reference, we will be all joining accounts about 5 mos before our wedding. I won’t list how who pays for what here b/c it’s kind of long but let’s just say that we give each other money all the time to cover bills if one of us is short at the end of the month. We definitely subscribe to the "what’s mine is your’s" line of thinking.
Post # 16
Totally separate, but we don’t live together.