(Closed) How do you and your husband manage finances?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 16
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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mrshomemaker :  we are working toward financial independence as well! I find having that large goal really helps keep our finances/ budgeting on track, as we are both equally invested in the outcome of our savings 

Post # 17
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

Fiance and I have had a joint account since shortly after our 1 year anniversary and it has and still is working out way better than when we had separate accounts. I’m in charge of making all the bill payments and grocery shopping but we sit down and talk about how much all the bills are and what we want/need from the store and figure out what spending money we each have each month and if one of us wants to make a bigger purchase (a video game usually for him and my make up from Sephora when I get close to running out or want to get my hair done) we always let the other one know about it. It’s really nice to have all our money in one place rather than having to do one person pays this, the other pays that.

Post # 18
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My fiance and I each have our own separate accounts but we have a shared credit card we use to pay bills, buy household tiems, dog food, etc. We then pay that card at a rate proportionate to our incomes. We also have a joint savings account that we auto-deposit into each pay check, also at a rate proportionate to our income. We will probably change that when we get married but that is how we do it now!

Post # 19
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

I’m in a rather unique situation in that Fiance and I own a business together, and it’s our only income. We started it a month before we started dating so really, we’ve had a joint account since before we had a romantic relationship.

I handle all of the finances. We have our separate accounts plus the shared business account, but I do all of our budgeting and if he wants something he runs it by me first to see if he can afford it (out of his own account). I know this sounds nuts- but it’s the way HE wants it. I’m honestly not very comfortable having this much control over someone else’s life, but hey- if it makes his life easier, fine. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I own the condo we live in now, so I pay the mortgage/HOA/property taxes. He pays for everything else- food, cable, etc.. But all of our money comes from the same place and goes into our very intertwined lives, so it’s really just a technicality…

Post # 20
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

We aren’t yet married, but have been together over 4 years and lived together for 2.5..? Idk. It feels like longer. 

We have separate accounts and everything. Pay our own bills, buy our own groceries and toiletries. We take turns on dog food, toilet paper, paper towels, and garbage bags. When rent comes around, I write the check since our landlady prefers 1 check, but he pays me half. We split the utility bills in half too. 

 

We are soon going to open up an joint checking and a joint savings account. One we will both transfer a bit of money to each month for saving up for our life together, and the other we will transfer money to for paying bills at the end of each month. 

 

MOST of our respective paychecks will end up in our own respective accounts. We want to have a life together and contribute 50/50 to each bill, mortgage, etc. however, we do not believe in combining all our money. 

Post # 21
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

We have a shared bank account for all our income and expenses. I’m the one who actually sends off all the payments though. DH is in the process of changing jobs, but we haven’t really changed our protocol. I suppose I pay more attention to what he’s spending on now since his stream of income will be changing, but I do appreciate him chipping in more with chores as more of his time frees up. 

Post # 22
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

All of our money is joint money…I make sure all the bills are paid and I put some in savings. DH rarely ever looks in our bank account…he just deposits his check in and spends what he wants. This system probably wouldn’t work for most but works for us great. I make sure we have enough going into savings and emergencys. 

Post # 23
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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msa28 :  I come from a military family and my mom didn’t always work, it depended on how long we were going to be somewhere. They have always had joint everything and for them it has caused nothing but problems. DH’s family was the same way and was one of the biggest issues surrounding their divorce! Everyone gets mad at everyone else for purchases etc. My dad is so bad with money he gets an allowance and has to call my mom to even get gas if he’s already spent his allowance. 

We just got married but have lived together for 2 years and have split living expenses since. We have everything auto deducted that we can (which is almost everything) and have individual accounts. DH makes 3 times more than I do. He pays the mortgage on our house, his house from before we were together, most of the utilities on our current house. I pay 2 utility bills, buy the common household items, and “decor” for the house. I also pay our 2 combined credit card bills. I pay the mortgage on the house I own. We each pay our own student loans, and car expenses. We own a tow behind camper together and split the costs for it. On trips he pays for gas, I pay for campground fees and we split meals with him buying breakfast and dinner and me buying lunch. He never judges anything I purchase and I never judge anything he purchases. We have had exactly ONE fight about expenses while my parents are still having daily fights 40 years later. 

Post # 24
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

Everything is owned jointly – checking, savings, and investment acounts, with the exception of our retirement funds: IRA, SEP IRA, etc. I retired a few years ago, so he has all the earned income and I handle the investment income, from what I’ve saved and invested, over 40 years of marriage.

I write all the checks, complete the tax returns (former CPA), and make the big purchases, except for his (company) car. We’re both pretty tight with our money, and historically never liked to go into debt, for purchases; we saved until we could buy something we wanted. In contrast, a relative of ours would take out a payment plan for a new TV. We pay the credit card bills off every month.

Now that the house is paid off, the kids have gotten their Bachelors and Masters degrees, and we hosted their weddings, our biggest money commitments are out of our way and we are coasting toward retirement.

 

Post # 25
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee

Joint savings account which we deposit equal amounts into every month, as we earn the same salaries. We use this to pay for all the bills. He usually pays them if they are not direct debits but I regularly log on as well to keep track of things. This is used for holidays and going out as well. We also still have separate accounts and each pay our personal credits cards separately. So far so good! I think we will fully merge once we start planning for kids though 

Post # 26
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

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msa28 :  I was recently funemployed for five months (started my new job lst week!) and we pretty much have everything on autopay out of our joint checking or joint credit card, and then we pay the credit card off each month in full. 

I had just as much say in what we spent and paying the bills as my SO did – however we knew my not working was very, very temporary, so I don’t know what would’ve happened long term. 

Post # 27
Member
9913 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We put 90% of each of our incomes into a joint account, and 10% into personal accounts.  I pay all of the bills out of the joint account (DH probably doesn’t even know where our accounts are that would need to be paid). 

We both make over six figures, so there isn’t much of a salary imbalance in our household.  Even if there were, though, we would continue doing things the same way, as we view the marriage as a joint venture in all aspects, which includes finances.

Post # 28
Member
12294 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We started with separate accounts and I took the mortgage while he took care of everything else since that was about even… only cause we were too lazy to go get added to each others accounts and move things around.  Eventually that just got annoying so we made the trip to the bank and added names and made “my” accounts the main ones.  So now we just have my one joint checkings, and joint everything else.  No one “controls” what bills are paid cause every last one is on auto pay.  We spend as we please since our nature is to save and we easily live and spend within our means even without thinking about it.  If there’s a bigger purchase to be made ($500+), we mention it to each other, which is rare.  We both work, but I do plan on taking 6mos to a year off for a kid, and then maybe only returning part time after that. 

Post # 29
Member
9195 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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msa28 :  one checking account from which all bills get paid. Both paychecks get fully deposited to that account too. Many of our bills autopay to a credit card (cell phone, cable/internet, pet insurance, charitable donations) and we never EVER use a debit card (primarily because of fraud concerns but also because we’d miss out on CC rewards) so money isn’t moving in and out of the account often so it’s easy to manage. The mortgage automatically deducts from the checking account but otherwise we each pay our own bills from the joint account (we got lazy about joining credit cards fully but we are authorized users on all accounts). If either of us has a particularly large bill we run it by the other before paying it to make sure we don’t overdraw (which we never have but still best to check in). 

 

Post # 30
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

We both work and I make about 30% more than him. However, he is definitely way more financially smart than me. We have:

– combined checking (bills, groceries, etc. This also includes any bills that preceded us such as my school loans or the mortgage for his house that we now live in). DH is in charge of paying all bills though we have auto-pay for many of them.

– combined savings. We transfer a fixed amount from checking each month (most of the time lol)

– individual checking accounts. We each get $200 of fun money a month for coffee, nights out (without each other) with friends, that new pair of shoes I must have.

This works great for us because of the fact that I make more. IMO it wouldn’t be fair to just split our expenses in half because that would leave me with more frivolous spending money than he and I believe that my money is his money and vice versa. It’s worked out really well for us.

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