Post # 47
@DJones69: I’m fine with all sorts of answers, I like people explaining how they do it. I do have a problem with blanket statements. “marriage is about X”. No. Your marriage is about X. Why should mine be? Where does it say so? In the Universal Marriage Rules written by you? Why should I have stayed single if I love my husband, he loves me, and we’re happy together? Because you think we must have joint accounts?
Post # 48
@bebero: I never said you MUST have joint accounts. I stated why we do (because we believe that two become one in marriage). Where do we get that? The universal marriage rule book called the BIBLE. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?
Obviously something I said struck a nerve with you, but that’s really no reason to get your panties in a wad. Seriously. It’s the internet. Anything I think really shouldn’t get you this up in arms. You don’t even know me and you’re making yourself look ridiculous
Post # 49
@DJones69: “The universal marriage rule book called the BIBLE”
well, this would be true if marriage was a right reserved only for christians. luckily, it isn’t 😀
Post # 50
Darling Husband and I have a joint checking and savings account. We also each have individual checking and savings accounts. We each get the same “allowance” to put in our individual accounts every two weeks. Everything else goes into our joint checking and savings accounts. We pay all bills necessities, joint vacations, etc through the joint accounts. It works for us!
Post # 51
We have our own checking accounts and savings accounts, but we can view each others balances and can transfer money between the accounts, which we do frequently. When we get married, we will have a joint savings account in addition to our own checking ansd savings accounts.
We also have bills set up to pay online and/or via automatic debit. He also has bills that he pays through (snail) mail.
Post # 52
@DJones69: Saying that ‘two becomes one’ and that everything must be ‘ours’ and ‘split’ is ridiculous. You can’t make a blanket finace rule for an entire married population.
I am SO happy to be a married woman who is also independent, free spirited & has her own damn money to spend.
@bebero: +1000. We have our own accounts and 1 joint savings account. The joint account pays for big joint things, like holidays, new appliances, car registration. Our own accounts are used for groceries, food, whatever we each want. Sometimes he’ll pay, sometimes I’ll pay- it all evens out.
Post # 53
@theone99: You say that as if I’m not independent (I was on my own from age 18 to age 37 when I married), have 2 degrees, a child in college and…. I came into my marriage with more money in savings than my husband did by probably 10k – with zero debt.
How’s THAT for independence?
Post # 54
We did not live together before marriage. While we were dating he paid for everything, always, even the small things, even when I offered. When we got married, we joined our accounts. We pay all bills from that account and opened a joint savings as well.
When we got preggers, I stopped working right before the second trimester started. He wanted me to enjoy the pregnancy and relax. I was working as a catering office manager so it was tiring and dangerous (slippery floors, chemicals and lots of stairs to climb).
I was a stay-at-home for 4.5 years and recently got a part-time job. I use the money to pay for our daughter’s dance classes and other extra-cirricular activities. I spend the rest of it on stuff. The job doesn’t pay much so we use it as fun money.
He manages the money but I like to keep an eye on our retirement fund, stock portfolio and education fund. I do the taxes. We discuss any purchase over $100. We’ve been married for 9 years and it works quite well for us.
Post # 55
Same with us. Been working quite well for 9 years now.
Post # 56
My FH would pay most of the bills, I would pay a smaller amount, only because he makes more. Starting this month, FH pays ALL of our bills; as a husband that’s what he wanted to do and I’m not complaining, I can always help him if he needs it. I’m paying for groceries, extra stuff, and can mostly save/spend my money for what I want. We have our own accounts and we are opening a joint account within the next two weeks!
Post # 57
Everything is shared and both names are on every account. We do have a checking account that is for my primary use, but that is more for convenience and for accounting purposes than anything else. We share the same credit cards and use them without having to get “permission. ” We discuss big ticket purchases.
Post # 58
Joint account with each person getting an equal amount of spending money each month that we take out in cash…. So you can shop without feeling guilty (just within guidelines) Say you gave each of you 100 bucks… you can spend all 100 dollars at the mall in one day if thats what you want and he can’t blink at it… and he can spend/save his 100 dollars for whatever he darn well pleases and you can’t say a word. So you don’t have to worry about that “you really needed another pair of shoes” question. but you also make sure each of you is being responsible and not making it difficult to pay the mortgage because they spent 300 dollars at the mall.
Post # 59
I think as long as it works for each individual, there isnt an issue, i havent actually thought about what we will do when were married, this post has prompted my thoughts 🙂
Post # 60
We have three accounts, all of which have both of our names on them. However, one account is my spending money, one is his spending money and one is for bills. We find that to be the easiest way to do things, because we don’t do EVERYTHING together, and we don’t want to have to check with one another for every single purchase.
I also want to say that your way of doing things and other people’s ways of doing things aren’t always going to be the same, and as much as you think your way is RIGHT, it’s not nice to judge. Nobody goes into a marriage thinking they are going to one day get divorced — it just doesn’t happen. I really hate that someone said, “Keep it split — it’s easier to split when you get divorced.” That’s cruel.
My marriage is a partnership. We’ve been partners since we moved in together, and we’ve had this same system since we moved in together, except now we have both names on all accounts. It works for us. Just because your system works for you doesn’t mean if others don’t do it, they aren’t a partnership.
Post # 61
We are not married yet but from the dicussions we’ve had about eventually handling our finances, it sounds like not much is going to change. It works this way, so we’re not sure there’s a need to change it.
I have my account and he has his. We have never merged accounts (even though we live together). He officially pays the mortgage and I take care of smaller bills. We split vacations right down the middle (down to the last cent) and if I want something, I buy it (and same for him).
We don’t plan on having children so we don’t need a separate account for things that are for the kids. We’ve never had a single argument about finances. We both have large nest eggs saved up, and we really like it this way.