(Closed) how do you and your husband manage money?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 62
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We share everything.  I couldn’t have married someone who had a different attitude to spending from me so there is no other way it could work for me. We talk about larger purchases before making them, and our birthday/christmas presents tend to be practical (I got wellies last year and a coat this year!).  We do enjoy spending our money on holidays and eating out, but now it’s all about saving for our expanding family!

Post # 63
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@bebero:  we don’t get married until march but we combined our accounts a few months ago.  we live together so this made our lives SO much easier. it’s so much easier to budget, save, etc. you’re looking at ONE account instead of trying to figure out how much is in each account and what is going out of what account. 

 

 

Post # 64
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We have only joint accounts (other than retirement accounts, which are by definition only able to belong to one of us). We both came into the marriage with a little savings and zero debt (we had both just finished graduate school). Now we have a joint checking and two joint savings accounts, a savings account for our son for college, our separate retirement accounts, and an investment portfolio. We both have access to all of these things, share the same credit card, etc. We have a mortgage and a car payment, as well as all our “normal” bills that come out of our checking account (or are paid through our credit card to get points, but we pay the card at least weekly.) Until our son was born, we were bringing in about the same amount of money (him a bit more than me). Now he brings in more. I spend most of the money because I grocery shop, get the things we need, pay any bills that aren’t routine (dentist, doctor,…), etc. We discuss any purchase (other than groceries or routine things) that are more than $50. We check-in about where our money is at every few weeks/months.

 

My parents have been married 35 years and my mom still has a separate checking account. I think it’s largely because my dad has always made a LOT more money than my mom (she stayed at home or worked part time when we were growing up.) When she got a full-time job, she started keeping some money separate. But they still basically share it all (they share the same credit card, use the other’s checkbook, etc. 

 

I don’t think there’s any particular right way to do it (though there are some wrong ways that encourage unhealthy power dynamics). 

 

Post # 65
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Jess1483:  I love this, and I love hearing about people who have been married for a long time who still keep some money separate. There is a difference between keeping some money separate and keeping secrets about money. We have joint accounts and separate accounts, but there are no secrets. I’m up front about every purchase, and he is too. If one of us is short on cash, the other steps up. It’s how things work for us, and as long as we are honest, I see no problem with it. 

Post # 66
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We have our own bank accounts and whoever sees the bill first will just pay it. We know what we each have in savings and use those figures to plan for house deposits etc

We like the freedom of separate accounts so it’ll probably stay this way

Post # 67
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@bebero:  1 seperate checking, 2 joint checking accounts and 1 joint savings. As it is all the checkings are in 3 seperate countries…so if we had seperate ones then we’d have to have 5 seperate checking accounts!

Haha, it is just easier for us to have joint ones and it works for us. We don’t really spend money on anything except for the occasional dinner or going out with friends. We try and save as much as possible and both of us think twice about spending. If we need to make a big purchase, we discuss it and discuss our budget. He makes 90 percent of the money, but always considers it our money.  

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