(Closed) How do you and your spouse split the Holidays between your families?

posted 5 years ago in Holidays
Post # 61
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My FI’s parents are divorced as well and they both live an hour away from my parents and 2 hours from us. At the beginning we aternated each year; but that meant that it would take 2 years for my parents to get a christmas; and since travelling between them every other day just sucked.

So now, we are having christmas and new year on our own but seeing all our family in early January over a single week; that way we get to enjoy our holidays without the stress and there are no arguments because no parent is getting the upper hand on the other. 

For most people, this is quite extreme, but for us our parents arent great at taking turns, and we’re sick of playing the monopoly. 

Post # 62
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Fiance and I are trying to rotate years.  Last year, we stayed at his mom’s for a week (she lives in another state), but it was the first Christmas I had missed with my family.  Christmas Eve is also the major event for my extended family, so I missed that for the first time as well, which I was bummed about.  This year, we’re going to my parent’s house for Christmas (15 minutes away) and seeing my extended family on Christmas Eve.  However, this means Fiance won’t see his family for Xmas, which sucks.  They live close enough to drive, but far enough away that you need to stay over for a few days or it’s not worth it, since it takes 6+ hours to get there.  We thought FI’s brother wouldn’t be going to their mom’s house for Xmas, since he moved away, but apparently he is.  Anyways, I think every year is going to be tough until we have kids, in which I would think we would host Xmas at our house.

Post # 63
171 posts
Blushing bee

My SO has worked every Thanksgiving and Christmas since we’ve met so I visit my parents for T-Day and for Xmas they come visit me. SO’s parents always have TDay and XMas on a different day so that they can celebrate with him. I’d go but they live on the opposite side of the country. It’s a little sad but I’m used to it at this point. Hopefully in a few years he’ll get a holiday off. 

Post # 64
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Since we have been engaged, we have split the holidays between our families. His family lives 8 hours away, mine lives 2 hours away. This year, we are doing Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his family. Last year, we did the opposite.

Once we have kids, though, I think we’ll be spending Christmas in our own home. They can ALL come to us. 🙂

Post # 65
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
purlofagirl:  I SERIOUSLY hope this what happens w/ he and I but I have a feeling it will not….his fam is very close & we are 3 hours away but the rests of his fam live near each other…we shall see

Post # 66
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

DH is a park ranger and has to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, so we’re dodging all the travel and having my parents visit us. Before I met him, I got tired of traveling all over to visit family every year, so we’re extremely okay with having a chill holiday season this year. Next year will depend on his work schedule again. We may alternate years visiting each other’s family or host. Either way, we absolutely will not spend the holidays apart. I hated being away from him on holidays while we were still dating, but now we’re a social and family unit. 

Post # 67
7760 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

DH and I began talking about changing things once we got married, and when we had children, we decided that we were not going to travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas. So we spend those days at our own home. We invite everyone over for Thanksgiving since I love to cook, and we spend Christmas Eve with DH’s dad (his mum is deceased) and the day after Christmas with my mum (my dad is deceased). We just knew that we didn’t want to wake everyone up early, bundle them up and pack a car to travel for those holidays. We wanted the kids to be able to sleep in, spend the day in their pajamas, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or open stockings and gifts first thing in the morning and then play with their gifts at home. I think it is important to create your own traditions and memories as a family. We still spend time with our extended families, but we reserve the actual holidays for just us.

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