How do you arrange financial side of your marriage?

posted 2 years ago in Finances
Post # 2
5250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

This is something you need to discuss with your SO, his comfort also needs to be taken into consideration. Some people do totally joint, some do completely separate and some do a mix of both.

We view money as all one pot but we do keep a portion of our salaries in individual accounts for day to day personal spending and the rest is in a joint account. We prefer having a level of autonomy in our spending and it’s easier to keep track when fun money is separate from bills for us.  We earn pretty similar amounts and have for years so we generally both put the same amount in the joint account and it leaves us saving/spending the same.  

Do you live together currently?

Post # 3
14017 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Joint accounts for everything. Although I have a separate checking account for convenience and record keeping, we are both on it.  There is no his money or my money. 

Post # 4
1353 posts
Bumble bee

Totally joint. It’s easy and works for us. We communicate about spending and when one of us is thinking about making a relatively large purchase. I.e. I don’t need to know that my husband spends $10 on lunch, but I’d need to know if he wanted to buy a $2k TV. 

Post # 5
3492 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We have one account and share everything. No his money/my money, everything is our money (which as a full-time student I am very appreciative of). 

Post # 6
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

We plan to keep our own checking accounts and open a joint account for savings.

Post # 7
314 posts
Helper bee

In practice, totally joint, and has been since the beginning. However we do have separate accounts (we just haven’t bothered with a combined account yet). 

We’ve never earned the same amount, either I’ve earned more, he’s earned more, I’ve started a business, he’s gone back to school, etc…

Post # 9
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2021

View original reply
elfzzz :  Your fiancé sounds very inconsiderate and like he’s living beyond his means. Unless he paid for his expensive car in cash, and has a down payment on a home ready… Regardless, he seems more focused on me and not we. You should be a team and on the same page in regards to finances.

For me- FH makes double what I make, and that doesn’t include his yearly bonus. We have one shared checking and savings account. We discussed all of this in detail, and made a combined budget spreadsheet. It’s not about who makes more, or who pays a certain percentage of what, it’s about what we agree to spend our money on and tackling debt together. 

Post # 10
816 posts
Busy bee

I currently earn a bit more than my SO; in the long run I expect we’ll have comparable salaries unless one of us dramatically changes careers. 

We’re planning to open a joint account for shared expenses but will maintain individual accounts from which funds will be moved into the joint.

We currently live together and split expenses by each paying different monthly bills and alternating who pays the rent each month. Once we’re married I think it makes more sense to pay all bills out of one account. But we also both prefer the freedom of having individual accounts for personal spending. 

Post # 11
3818 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We have joint checking and joint savings, and we each have personal accounts. We put the same percentage of our paychecks into the joint accounts each month, and the rest goes into our personal accounts. We absolutely have his money, my money, and our money. I’d never not have my own money set aside.

You sound like you have more than a “how to arrange finances” issues, though…

Post # 12
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

View original reply
elfzzz :  it doesn’t sound like he thinks of you guys as a team. One day you might be making double what he is. How would he handle it then?

Each marriage is different, and everyone handles finances differently. A lot of people pay bills by sharing a % of their income into a joint account and using that for bills, but it sounds like he wouldn’t think that “fair” for him. 

how old are you guys? Do you currently split bills 50/50? Do you want children?

Post # 13
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Fiance & I earn about the same amount, but he recently got a raise and now makes about $500-600 more per month than I do.

We recently reconfigured our budget for after we are married. In essence, we will be putting all but $X for play money each week into the joint account and paying ALL bills and household expenses out of it. For example, the netflix, groceries, mortgage, my student loans, his storage space, etc. all out of our joint account. We each have the same amount of spending money every week.  

We work at the same company, and the receptionist who does payroll is able to split our direct deposit to put play into our respective bank accounts and the rest into the joint. We plan to keep our own accounts open to save on our own out of the play money.  

ETA: Did you discuss the difference in pay with your fiance before you switched down? Was he taken off guard and is now worried? It could def be a way “out” for him……although that’s super asshole-ish.

Post # 14
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
elfzzz :  My husband and I have not yet combined our bank accounts, though we plan to eventually (it just sounds like a hassle) but we still view the money as “our” money, even though it’s in seperate accounts.

My husband makes about $30-50K more than I do depending on bonuses, we split the rent and all other utilities evenly but he pays for pretty much everything when we go out or travel (which is a lot) so he definitely ends up spending more out of his account than I do to fund out lifestyle. 

I think once we combine bank accounts we’ll each still keep our own with money for personal stuff, like for my nails, lashes, hair, etc.

ETA I just read your update… I will just say his attitude is kind of shitty, I wouldn’t want to carry all the weight either but if he is insisting on certain things and you can only afford X that’s actually his problem, not yours.

Post # 15
775 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

We each contribute 50% of our income toward shared expenses (rent, bills, gas, groceries, etc.). Since I make quite a bit more than my spouse, I contribute more actual dollars to the shared expenses, but when broken down by percentage of income, we contribute the same portion of our incomes. We both agreed this was the most fair setup.

Individual expenses (drinks with friends, personal shopping, and so forth) come out of our own pockets, and if we want to go to dinner, take a vacation, etc., we usually split those expenses pretty evenly, unless one of us is treating the other (which we do often).

ETA: After reading your update…yeah he sounds like an ass with his attitude about money.

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