How do you arrange financial side of your marriage?

posted 4 months ago in Finances
Post # 46
Member
9817 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My husband gives me all his money and I spent all the money.  LOL.

But for real, we just have one joint account (checking/savings) and shared credit cards-ish.  He does give me all his money (for the most part, we have some exceptions).  I do all the budgeting, bill paying, and spending (groceries, clothes, activites, etc).  My husband doesn’t shop and doesn’t want to.  He doesn’t have the time.  He is not a big shopper or spender either.  So at the most he might buy some food or get a haircut or whatever and he puts that on a joint credit card.  We have 2 kids.  

We have varied from me being almost the sole provider (when he just started his business) to now he makes more than me.

**Your partner sounds like an asshole.  If you want to do separate finances it should be based on percentages.  Unless you make the exact same amount, 50/50 is not fair in a marriage IMO.

***And he’s 48?  Girl, RUN!

Post # 47
Member
18 posts
Newbee

This is why he’s a 48 year old marrying a 34 year old.  He thinks he can dupe a much younger woman.  His attitude is why he’s single at 48. 

Post # 48
Member
6446 posts
Bee Keeper

elfzzz :  Everything is 100% pooled together and I make twice over what he makes.  I dont’ see it as mine or his.  It’s ours.  However,  I do all of the finances

Post # 49
Member
564 posts
Busy bee

elfzzz :  I’ll tell you how we do it, but everyone is different and does what works for him. Ya’ll don’t have a finance issue, you have a boyfriend that’s an ass. Why is he changing his mind now? If I were to keep living there, I would definitely want to get down to the root cause of the issue and figure out why he’s saying different things, now. 

1st Husband – All Combined, will never ever ever do that again. I made way more money (sometimes all the money) and he sat on his ass and spent it all. 

2nd Husband (True Love of my Life :-)) – Don’t share accounts, but have access to one another’s if needed, I cover the house, he covers all the other bills, we kinda split groceries and vacations as needed since his work is seasonal. We don’t pre-discuss major expenses unless they are shared and we spend as we please. This works, but we are having to adjust a little because of future goals. More importantly, we COMMUNICATE and DISCUSS. Which is not what is going on with you. How you handle your finances is truly a personal preference, but there has to be communication and discussion… And some sort of meet in the middle agreement… He’s not even trying to meet you in the middle. 

Post # 50
Member
978 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Your so’s attitude is shitty.  When my so first moved back from Japan he had trouble finding full time work so only worked part time.  I paid the majority of our expenses.   That was a few years ago.  He now out earns me and ends up paying the majority of our expenses.  You never know how life is going to go.  I’ve found that money in marriage is rarely 50/50 and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was always keeping track.  Way too stressful.  

Post # 51
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We share 100% of everything, we both prefer it that way. We control expenses pretty tightly and we both are committed to our financial goals for the future.

Post # 52
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2019

My financial situation was very tight around my wedding days. But my family was with me and we handled all the situation beautifully 🙂

Post # 53
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We are totally joined. We do both take care of paying different bills, but all money comes from the same pot.

Post # 54
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper

We have a main joint account for daily living and rent etc. We have joint savings.  Then each of us kept our separate account for our own extras. 

Post # 55
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper

I missed the update. We make choices together on how much we spend on housing and cars and going out. For example for renting I have a limit before I’d rather buy because at a certain point it’s ridiculous to spend more on rent than would be a mortgage. And he agrees. 

If either if us wanted to live fancy and demanded the other keep up it would be a huge problem. If your SO wants a fancy lifestyle and demands YOU pay for half of it that is super shitty. Wtf does he mean we’re equal in north America. We dont all make the same money nor do we all have the same lifestyle requirements or wants.What bullshit is that.

I make one THIRD of what my husband makes.  We would be living in a different area and be going out like never if we were only on my salary.  If all of a sudden I’m supposed to contribute like I was earning 3x more that doesn’t work. I can’t magically triple my salary and neither can you. If I could I would have already because who doesn’t want to earn more. 

This is a huge problem and you all need to resolve it before getting married. He is dreaming here. 

Post # 56
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper

sharpshooter :  Yep. I missed this part too. The I worked hard now I’m rich and poor people didn’t work hard attitude is very shitty and not true. Many many people work very hard and never make big salaries. This attitude would be a huge dealbreaker for me. 

He is essentially feeling entitled to more of the OPs salary because he worked hard and earned more. What?! This attitude is a problem.  HE is the entitled little B here. OP run from this man. This will bankrupt you and you won’t have a savings for yourself nor for your future. 

Post # 57
Member
693 posts
Busy bee

We aren’t married, but we have been common law for a very long time. The week that we moved in together we made our accounts joint and everything that both of us earns goes directly in to one checking account. There is no division in our income or assets. Everything is ours. We are a team and we are equal contributors to our household in more ways than just financially. There has been years where his income was significantly higher and I wasn’t even working. We were still equal partners. There has been periods of time where my income was higher, still equal. I can’t imagine it being any other way.  

Post # 58
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

Now that we’re married we share a joint account. All our expenses come from there. We get $150 a month each to spend what we want. We save a portion of our income to savings, and a percentage of his income goes to 401k. We’re on a budget because we’re paying down a lot of debt, majority is his.

We used to split 50/50 while we were dating up until a year after marriage, which wasn’t fair imo because he made almost double my income. Personally I wouldn’t combine unless you’re actually married. 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors