(Closed) how do you ask?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I did it different for each of my girls. One of my bridesmaids knew as soon as I was engaged she was a bridesmaid so I just made it official by asking her in an email. One of my other bridesmaids is 10 years old so I called her and asked her and explained it all. I asked another bridesmaid via card with STD in the mail. I sent her my save the date in a card that read I hope you mark this down because I want you to be a bridesmaid…Will you be a bridesmaid in my wedding? Then I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor in person with a gift and card. She and I are huge Colts football fans we even went to a game the two of us one year. So, I got her a Colts football and in the card it read:

Peyton Manning has Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison I have had ____ and ______. I want you to be the Matron of Honor that takes it to the endzone. Will you be my MOH?

I had two previous MOH’s who did not work out (one said she wanted to do it then said she was to busy and was not in the financial situation to be head of everything, and the other and I were living together and had a huge falling out where my life was put at risk and needless to say we are no longer talking). So that is why I put I have had ______ and __________. You can do it anyway you want. I have heard of someone who took her girls out for dessert and when they opened the desert menu it was a little card that asked them to be in her wedding.

Post # 4
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My sister asked me by taking me out to tea, she asked her other bridesmaids by either brining them out to this place in town that has a chocolate buffet or she asked them by dropping by their houses with a cookie that had a note imprinted on it asking them to be her bridesmaids.

Post # 5
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor BEFORE I got engaged, so no suprise there but my others, I called and asked.

Post # 6
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My two best friends are my bridesmaids (they both already know) and once it’s all official, I am going to take my daughter (she is 12) out for a day of fun and ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor – she knows she will be in the wedding but thinks that one of the other girl’s is going to be the Maid/Matron of Honor cause I was hers.

I’m also going to do the same thing for my BF’s kids – have a day of fun and let them know I want them to be part of our special day.

Post # 7
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I wanted to ask all my BMs at the same time (although they all KNEW who they were going to be already), so I bought some cute stationery and placed cute personal notes in the mail to each of them on the same day.  I called the Maid/Matron of Honor and told her I was sending something in the mail, to call me when she was opening it.  Then, I met with the local girls for lunch and a ring-showing/pre-planning/giggle fest. 

I knew which of my BMs would find the idea more of a financial burden than others, and let them know that I would do everything in my power to keep the costs low (I meant it too), but that I understood if they had to say no for financial reasons.  

Post # 8
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

my Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my Bridesmaid or Best Man knew they were going to be in it, but i had not officially asked them yet, so after we went out one night we got back to the house and i (being goofy) got down on one knee and "proposed" to each of them asking them to be in my wedding. they laughed and said yes.

Post # 9
40 posts
  • Wedding: November 2009

Actually, I had your same question and gather very nice ideas from you all girls! I like specially the one that ask the bride maids through a dessert. They open the boxes and see the note. I was planning to give them a call but now I think I will go with the dessert option.

Post # 10
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I picked up cheap (but super cute!) wedding-themed cards from Target’s dollar section.  Each card had a sparkly blue gown on the front that resembeled a bridesmaid dress.

Then, I gave my best shot at writing a sweet note to each friend about why she was important to me and how much it would mean if she stood beside me on my wedding day.  It was simple and very affordable, but I put a lot of thought into what I wrote to each girl, and I know it meant a lot to them.

Post # 11
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I sent them flowers and attached a card. They seemed to really like the idea, but this can probably get pretty pricey if you have a lot of bridesmaids.

Post # 12
35 posts

I kicked off the diy projects with an altered clipboard with a card that reads will you be my bridesmaid…

Post # 13
1 posts

I asked my Matron of Honor over the phone, she lived three states away from me at the time.  (this was eons ago)  To help with the cost for all four of the bridesmaids, I paid for all material and jewelry to be in the wedding, they just had to buy shoes and the cost of the seamstress to sew the dresses.   This helped so much since we were all so young and newly moved out of our parents homes. 


 After asking and having the bridesmaid accept, I sent them all flowers.  I didnt have that many for the cost to be super high at that time.

Post # 14
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I sent flowers to each with notes explaining why I needed them with me on the big day. It wasn’t expensive for my three girls, but with the bigger groups a mass-asking could be in order.

I was once asked through an elaborate scavenger hunt themed off the move Amelie. It was way more elaborate than my proposal story , and probably did not cost anything.

Post # 15
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I asked most of them in person, even though they pretty much knew they would be in my party once they knew about the engagement. This was followed with actual "invites" for every member of our wedding party. We just blogged about it on our blog if you want to check them out. http://sohappyberries.blogspot.com/2008/12/wedding-party-invites.html

they are very much inspired by Mrs. Gummibears wedding invites! 🙂

Post # 16
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

This is really bad, but I called one of them at work, I Google-chatted one of them, two of them assumed they would be and I was like "Of course!" The last one is the worst, though: she’s so sweet that she told me she understood if I couldn’t have her in the party, and I said, "Aw, thanks! I’m so comfortable with you that I know you’ll be okay if I end up having to ask someone else to avoid drama." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I thought. Wait a second. Doesn’t the fact that I feel close enough to her to tell her that she’s not in the wedding party qualify her as the only person who really SHOULD be in the wedding party? Nice, Wiglet. I’m such a doofus sometimes. So of course, I asked her and now I’m shocked that I ever considered not having her.

In the end, though, I don’t think my BMs care that I was totally nonchalant about the whole thing. The only thing I would change, looking back, would be to decide on EVERYONE before telling ANYONE.


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